In Honor of Justin's Third Thanksgiving in Heaven

Hello everyone; 

This will be my final post until the end of January 2014. 

I find it exceedingly difficult to make it through the holidays without Justin by my side.   Since Justin's murder on January 11, 2011 I no longer celebrate holidays; for me they are just another very long day, on an endless calender, without my son's feet on this planet.

I wish you all happiness and health and I leave you with a tribute to my beautiful son Justin Vance DeSha-Overcash.  The photos in the video are of Justin between his birth and 19 months old; many of the photos of the sky he took himself.  The music is by Savage Garden "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You" and I hold not legal rights to this music.

May God bless you all with His loving light of joy and protection throughout the upcoming holiday season. 

I love you so very much my dear, dear son.

I am and remain Justin's momma

http://youtu.be/70u-Vo_SNt8

Justin Hangs Out Among The Stars in The Heavens

A HUGE and grateful thanks for the gift of loving and sincere generosity from the McCann Family; Mary Jane, Dan, Sam & their beloved Annie, Justin DeSha-Overcash has a Star in the Taurus Constellation [honorarily] named after him. 

This is only a [symbolic] gesture and I admit I have been reminded, "Justin is in all of the stars." Even though the original name of this star will not change, in my heart, I will always feel this particular star will forever belong to and be a symbol of all Justin's happiness and love of life meant during his time on Earth to this universe. 

Co-ordinates~TAURUS RA5h32m28.61s D24 [degrees] 4'7.48"  [Justin is a Taurian]

I love you McCann Family and I am forever grateful for this blessing of friendship!

Justin you will never be forgotten. You shine as brightly now as you always did! 

 I love you BIGGER than the universe, momma

 

 

Meet One of My Many Son's From Another Mother

Will, one of my son, Justin's, best friends from PA, came through Asheville on his way to FL to visit his grandparents.  We spent Saturday in downtown Asheville.  Everyone knows 'If your not weird then you're not weird enough for Asheville' or so the bumper sticker says!

There were the usual street musicians and artists.  Will was amazed; he asked if they paid to be there.  I told him no they just set up where ever they felt the urge and 'did their thing'.  He was especially interested in a young man playing a dulcimer as he had never seen this instrument.  As I do with all visitors who come to Asheville I made him take a photo by the Iron monument. 

We enjoyed a leisurely late lunch in one of Asheville's many great eateries and then Will treated me to a tour of the art museum and we were lucky enough to get a free treat to roam through the rock museum because it was after 4 PM!   

At sunset we went to Justin's grave site and hung out with Justin as we took in the beauty of the Smokey Moutains.  We shared stories about Justin and we laughed and we cried.  Before we left Will knelt at his brothers grave and said a silent prayer for my beautiful son.

Will's time in Asheville was a most wonderful surprise and memory!! 

I love you Will, my son from another mother, thank you for lunch and for treating me to the museum tour!! I know I talked too much but you were most kind and patient! 

I am OC'S momma [Justin's nickname in PA is OC for Overcash]

Will left me a surprise message!

I Want My Son's Life Back

Today is the 11th of November marking two years and ten months since Justin was murdered. I refuse to say lost or taken, during a conversation with another mother she made sense when she adamantly stated, "I did not loose my daughter; she was murdered!" I never lost Justin at any point of his twenty two short years; never!

I didn't even like making Justin sit in the car alone all hot, dirty and tired after a sports practice while I shopped when he needed to get home shower and finish up any homework assignments he might need to complete. One particular evening football practice ended a good bit earlier than usual and yes I had run to the grocery store. CJ Charles Green and Carmen Le'Hazel Green's mother [Lora Green] said, "Justin we'll just run you home." Lora still enjoys telling this story, because Justin was so animated, he looked up at her [he was 11 years old] and said. "Oh no Mrs Green. If my mommie comes and I'm not here she'll freak out." Justin was right I would have FREAKED OUT; ergo, why it is difficult for so many to understand the depth of my bereavement and grieve. I guess I have [freaked out] Justin's not here and I cannot find him.

I know no one but me understands my despair and this is alright. I have never expected anyone to understand my beliefs, my heart, my mind, my love or my joy for my child, Justin. These innate qualities are mine and mine alone; I was born with them and yet there are people who think I can simply push 58 years aside. I honestly do not care who understands, in the scheme of things it truly does not matter, Justin is my son and this is my life and my road which I have no fear to walk alone.

I go to bed each night and my last thought is, "Justin is dead." When I wake my first thought is, "Justin is dead." I died on January 11, 2011 with Justin. I move, I breath, my heart beats, my mind is muddles, confused, thought is difficult, attention span none, I pray a lot, I cry a lot, I daydream about all the memories and I do thank God he gave me the ability to remember with vivid detail each [and every] moment with Justin so I can relive the laughter, the hugs, the pranks, the 'ventures', the excitement and enthusiasm, the unconditional love, his understanding and acceptance of my uniquely bohemian personality.

God gifted me [and I did not deserve such a beautiful gift] but God chose me to be Justin's momma and I will be forever grateful. Justin taught me so much and I will never forget even one of these life lessons. Honey I miss you so much the pain is unbearable and life seems so bleak. Please watch over us because you know how much we need you. Honey I will love you until the end of time and far beyond; see you in the light Babe, momma

The Gaul of Some People Who Speak to Parents of Murdered Children

****An email I penned to a Mrs Haas in MD Governor O'Malley's office in 2011 pursuant to the murder and [sweeping under the rug] of 25 [TWENTY FIVE] human lives in Prince George's County MD. I attached the letter UMd's authors of Justin's wonderful legacy Award to apprise any of you who are not familiar with what this award can do for out-of-state students who truly wish to make a difference through research!

NO I was NOT nice to the Governor's office as they were NOT nice to the family's or VICTIMS who were VIOLENTLY murdered.

March 17, 2011

Dear Ms. Haas;

I appreciate your prompt response to my letter regarding the unconscionable treatment received by my only child and son, Justin DeSha-Overcash, at the hands of the Prince George's County Police Press Department after being fatally wounded in his home. Although I can understand no one wishes to think (god forbid) the police make mistakes or 'jump the gun' (so to speak); I beg to differ. Colonel Davis' actions shortly after my son's heinous MURDER have all the ear markings of using Justin as a scapegoat. During Colonel Davis' mud slinging speech in front of the media, to calm the fear of the residents of Prince George's County, he slandered my son and I have no intention of allowing this miscarriage of justice to be 'laid upon my son's back'. As naive as I can be even I have the ability to recognize an outrageously callous use of police propaganda. Justin was the ELEVENTH murder in first ELEVEN days of January; this should have been my son's most phenomenal year as he was to graduate this May. Why did the PG County Police take it upon themselves not to notify the UMD Campus Police of the sudden rise in violent crimes so the UMDCP could pass this urgent life saving information onto the students, staff and faculty? (You know and I know why they did not notify anyone!)

I shared with Pauline Mandel my participation in grief counseling in confidence and I will definitely take this up with Mrs. Mandel. For the record I am seeking counseling because I lost my son and our Nation lost a brilliant scientist; I am well aware the PG County Police used my son and no amount of counseling will change this reality. What I and everyone else heard, saw and read on January 11, 2011 coming out of Colonel Davis' mouth pursuant to my son's lifestyle was incredulously incompetent. Might I suggest Colonel Davis of the Prince George's County Police Press Department seek counseling or better yet a course in Ethics?

Not one person (American Citizen) to whom I have spoken believes the PG County Police Department has done justice to any of the 25 (Twenty Five) murder victims in the first three months of 2011. Not only have I been advocating for my son I am standing steadfast for all 25 (Twenty Five) PG County murder victims who were treated as if they deserved to die. I will continue my campaign in pursuit of justice for my son as well as all violent crime victims of PG County to the fullest extent of my abilities; with or without assistance from authorities who could make a difference.

Below I am including a letter written by the University of Maryland and emailed to their data base today regarding my son, Justin DeSha-Overcash, possibly you will then understand my involvement and commitment for the 'long-haul'. Thank you for your time, and by the way, one person can make a difference. Justin certainly made a wondrous and selfless difference in a mere twenty two years.

Regards,

Karen L. DeSha
Proud TERP mother of Justin Vance DeSha-Overcash
828-505-1264

P. S. I raised Justin to believe he should trust police and our political figures; I remember explaining to him "they are there to protect and serve". How was I to know I was lying to Justin; we were middle class and had never had any involvement with the legal system.

FROM: The University of Maryland College Park MD
March 17, 2011

Dear friend,

Early in 2011 the University of Maryland lost a very special student, Justin DeSha-Overcash. Justin was a remarkable young man who had a passion for learning and teaching. As a physics and astronomy double major, Justin carried a full course load to prepare himself for a scientific career and often spoke of graduate school to continue his education and his love of research. In his sophomore year Justin added geophysics as a minor and began working with Professor Hier-Majumder on research regarding the Earth's core-mantle boundary. Justin's contributions to this research were displayed at the 2010 fall meeting of the American Geophysical Union, attended by 16,000 researchers and his success further deepened his commitment to pursue a graduate degree in this field. Justin was an active member of the Society of Physics Student, the Maryland Astronomy Observatory and a tutor to Maryland Student-Athletes. The loss of this wonderful, engaging and giving student is felt all over our campus.

Justin’s experience was the essence of the undergraduate experience; learning about one's self both inside and outside the classroom, discovering a world of opportunities in new fields and contributing to groundbreaking research in a hands-on and significant manner. Unfortunately Justin’s journey was cut short, but the opportunity to ensure that other students are able to participate in research and make discoveries about our world and themselves is very much alive.

With your help we would like to establish the Justin DeSha-Overcash Summer Research Award to assist undergraduate students eager to pursue research opportunities and explore a world of possibilities. This research award will honor the memory of Justin by providing an out of state student who is financially needy a stipend to conduct summer research here at Maryland. Such an award not only recognizes Justin’s work and the important value he placed on research, but would significantly assist a student who is struggling to pay bills for housing, food and tuition.

As an out of state student Justin was heavily impacted by the high price of higher education and living expenses. He worked as many as four jobs during a semester to pay his tuition. It is our hope that this award will allow a student to stay at Maryland to conduct research that he or she is genuinely interested in rather than be forced to take a job that simply pays the bills.

Please use the enclosed envelope to make your gift and honor Justin and support the dreams of future scientists. Checks can be made payable to The University of Maryland College Park Foundation (UMCPF) with a memo line designating the gift to the Justin DeSha-Overcash Award. Donations may also be made online at https://advancement.umd.edu/giving/ and searching for “Overcash” and following the links.

If you have any questions or would like more information about this award please contact Lawrence Liff at 301-405-1082 or lliff@umd.edu .

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Saswata Hier-Majumder
Geology Department

Elizabeth Warner
UMD Obs.Coordinator

"The measure of life..."

Honey on January 16, 2011 as I slid across the seat of the funeral home limo, heading to the cemetery on that horrible day, something caught my eye and took me by complete surprise....the "key to your heart charm" fell from my bracelet onto my lap. This key would be the first of many gifts you have sent me since you left to go home. I wish you had not had to leave me here alone; while you were here with me life was so joyous and magically wondrous and always filled with love and laughter. 

With deep and profound thoughts of you, Justin, on this day [September 11, 2013] marking two years and seven months since you went Home. I cannot help but wonder how much more honey you could have accomplished in this time now gone. Would you have the job of your dreams, would you have met your soul mate, would you be making wedding plans or would you already be wed as we awaited your first born child, would you still be composing wondrous music, would you still be......aw honey I can only dream about you and what your life could have become.

"The measure of a life is dependent on how far you will go each day to become a better person. How many people you treat with kindness and how much closer you get to learning how to forgive both yourself and others." ~Unknown

Your leaving created a hole in my heart that grows larger with each passing day. I miss you today [like I do every day]. Your leaving has created a hole in my heart that grows larger with each passing day. I love you Justin [unconditionally] from the very depths of my soul. 

I am and will be throughout eternity your devoted momma  

Justin DeSha-Overcash on the left with a fellow alumni of the University of Maryland [College Park] Observatory.

A momma's view on societies ignorance!

When I woke this morning I began to realize why I am experiencing such emotional turmoil; school is starting. Yes, another school year is beginning. I did not have the opportunity to see Justin outside of his comfort zone of academia. I never had the opportunity to see Justin walk the stage to receive his [hard earned] and well-deserved diplomas. Justin was awarded his college diploma posthumously. As I have from the time Justin entered kindergarten I will, every fall, ready my son for another school year.

Justin had confided in me during his junior year in college, "momma I really wanted to have a career in Astronomy but they do not make any money." Sadly this world, along with social pressures, breaks so many hearts. With all of his knowledge, and his years of hard work, Justin realized he would be forced to choose a position to make 'money' [so he could LIVE] over being able to choose what his heart desired. Money held no meaning for Justin he simply wanted to pursue his scholastic dreams; as do so many young adults. But we live in a time of [everything costs TOO much] and Justin like so many [in his shoes] felt pressured to conform as a means to an end; he understood all too well that he would have to choose a degree which would afford him a life in our OVERPRICED world. Justin has a degree in Astronomy and DOES NOT need any money. Thank you society from the bottom of my heart! [yes this is disgust and rhetoric on my part.]

I am the only person in [my particular place] I [and only I] understand [exactly] what my 'driving force' is and this force has driven me my entire life. I cannot purport to know what drives others I know only what drives me. I do not speculate on what drives others as this would be an impossible [waste of time]. I make no apologies for an inner driving force that kept me grounded as a teen, young adult and adult; then everything was turned upside down on January 11, 2011 at 4:27 PM when the sheriff's knocked on my door.....

Evil entered Justin's life that day and everything I thought was truth, everything I "believed in" as a human being, adult and American citizen I found to be UNTRUE. Am I angry, sometimes, mostly at myself for not being there to protect Justin, for not knowing the depth to which people will go to protect their own asses. I am Justin's momma I had always protected him from harm. I sit for hours thinking I [should have] told Justin about guns. Why for GOD'S sake would I attempt to discuss a topic with Justin about which I know nothing? We both fight with words; not guns or fists. I [should have] told Justin about [evil]. How could I share information about a topic which I had never encountered? I look for the 'good' in everyone; as did Justin. I [should have]........

Those, of you, who have known me for decades, years or even months know I am Karen DeSha, Justin DeSha-Overcash's momma, I say what I think; I always have and I always will. This senseless and horrid tragedy that took Justin in such an unbelievable manner blind sided me and took my life source knocking me to my knees and this is alright, too. I will stay on my knees until I am able to stand; and if I cannot stand again this too, is alright. I cannot [and will not] apologize for having a heart filled with strength and passion for those I love. I am who I am; but now I am broken. It happens....move on, closure, times heals, everything will get better in time???....NONE of these words mean anything to me and bring me no solace; this too is alright. I have never been one to buckle under social pressures and I am sure not going to start now. As I always have I will continue to live my life my way and if I grieve for Justin and 'pine' for his presence for the remainder of my life this is my business and my business alone.

There is no cure or medication for grief and bereavement; if you have not lost a child [and believe me when I say I hope you have not and never will] please allow me to live each day, step by step, tear by tear, in my own way; this is my path to walk unhindered by others thoughts or words. God bless and keep each of you....I am [and remain] Justin's momma [Love you my star gazer.]

My beautiful son on the left; with a towel on his head [?] which reminds me of a court jester of old

!