Justin Told the Truth

Cumberland Hall UMD College Park, MD Freshman Year [Fall 2006]~DORM LIFE

My home telephone rings:

me, "hello?"

A very excited and out of breath Justin, "HEY momma!  What are you doing?"

me, "Not much honey just hanging out; what are you doing?"

In a true Justin tone of glee he responds, "OH MOMMA!  YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT WE'RE DOIN'!!"

In my mind I am thinking OH MY GOODNESS???  Suddenly my imagination kicks into overdrive and I envision [at the speed of a second hands tick] everything I could be doing that would cause me to reach this level of excitement.  Trust me when I add; the odds are coming out to equal=NOT GOOD?

In an energetic voice and completely winded Justin barely gasps, "MOMMA, we put baby powder all over the hallway floor and then we hold our mattress start running and jump on them and slide down the hall!  My room mate Mayokun just busted his head on the concrete wall!!!

me; with my jaw agape I finally manage to say, "Oh MY GOSH Honey....is he okay?"

Justin laughing hysterically calmly states, "On yeah momma he'll be fine he just has a big knot."

To which I responded [with mild hysteria] while attempting to envision Justin's version of a knot and my version of a knot in my mind, "Honey, is this what we sent you to college for...."

Sheepishly Justin replied, "Aw momma.....he's okay.   We're just having some fun."

Left to Right:  My dear Justin, My wonderful Mayokun and My sweet Patrick.  Yes and they are covered in powder!

me, "Um....I know honey but there may be moments in college that you would rather not share with your momma!?!"

Second of silence....
 
Then we both BUSTED OUT laughing...oh the innocence of youth.

He and Mayokun developed a wonderful lasting relationship during their freshman year; true brothers for life!

Remind me one day and I will share Mayokun telling at Justin's memorial, on January 20, 2011 at the beautiful Chapel on the campus of UMd where he had everyone laughing with his college stories, how he tried to get Justin to toss aside his studies and just have college FUN!  [His attempts, although numerous and creative, never worked!] 

I miss you Babe...A LOT, so much it is painful.  I miss your calls, I won't get started cause you know I miss everything about you son, but your calls were always special.  A way for you to tell me you thought of me, wanted to share a moment of your life with me and say love you.  I truly appreciated this part of our relationship more than I will ever be able to express to you honey, or anyone for that matter, in words.  I can't stop thinking of you and all the 'what ifs'....I love you honey and I know you're fine; I just wish you had never had to leave us and especially in such a horrible manner...  Nothing is fun or funny anymore honey...Thank you Babe for 22 years of smiles, laughs, gut laughs and please please I have to stop laughing my face hurts!!  I love you Justin, my son, my constant...momma    

Wake Up Society~A momma in pain & inner termoil

My days pass as if in 'fast forward'; it is day, then it is night, and inevitably I find myself in a mental quandary, "Where did my day go?"  I loose days, too; this week I have tried [and tried] to access where Thursday went?  These lapses in time [these missing days] began when my son, Justin, was murdered.

The multitude of emotions, mental angst, and physical conflicts endured by parents of murdered children is not discussed openly because societal pressures for us to remain silent weighs heavily upon many.  Society demands we [deal with 'it'] and move on; even the mere thought of ignoring or pretending 'IT' did not occur is entirely improbable and impossible for me to adhere. 

I refuse to be silent, I refuse not to talk about Justin, I refuse not to show the emotional vortex I endure daily all because a CAREER CRIMINAL [wearing an ankle monitor] cold bloodily murdered my beautiful and intelligent son for NOTHING.  The murderer got [nothing] from my son on this horrid day except his LIFE.

Society [most people] is uncomfortable when I openly show my emotions for my son; I cry a lot and I do not care who is there nor where I am when my emotions over take me.  I love my child and I miss him more than words can ever express.  Why wouldn't I show my emotion I am Justin's momma and Justin is my son, my constant, my friend, my joy, my gift from GOD; my purpose is to honor my son every day for the remainder of my life.  I have always openly shown my emotions and I truly refuse to change because society is uncomfortable.  Possibly showing more emotion would teach younger generations LIFE IS IMPORTANT and is not to be TAKEN by any human action.

People [whom have never lost a child or loved one to VIOLENCE] tell me to "move on".  How in the hell do they even think they [have a clue] about what I am experiencing?  Thank GOD they do not!  Move on; to what may I ask?  The other parents who walk the same road as I do know and feel the same emotions; although, I have always been known "to say out loud" what others are only willing to think!  I have never kept my mouth closed when I see [injustice] why would I start now?  Injustice invaded my son's life, my life, my family's life, my son's dearest friend's lives and I will fight every day to see that justice is not pushed aside for a judicial agenda.  This is not paranoia speaking, this is reality speaking, I had no idea my son's because of my son's murder I would find myself embroiled in the fight of my life; I had no knowledge of how corrupt America's judicial system has become.  America's judicial system is a business, a money maker, a governmental Ponzi Scheme [the likes of which make Madoff's Ponzi Scheme look elementary].  Every time a criminal is arrested the government gives the chosen judicial group funds to defend 'said' criminal; the scheme comes in when the judicial system continuously releases these [same] violent people back into society and the cycle continues to escalate.  The criminal who murdered Justin has been involved in crime as a career for five years, arrested constantly yet never serving any time other than two nights in jail.  The only time he saw behind bars are these two nights; twenty days later my son is dead and the murderer goes about his criminal lifestyle as if nothing happened until his arrest seventy eight [78] days later.  This career criminal even went to court THIRTEEN DAYS after MURDERING JUSTIN [on January 24, 2011] for his Felony II Handgun Charge still wearing an ankle monitor requesting a plea deal and acting as if he is a 'pillar of the community'.  The murderer is deemed "High Intensity" [but is released on a Felony II Handgun Charge]?  THIS TYPE OF INJUSTICE OCCURS EVERYDAY IN AMERICA.  Why do you think it is called "THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM"?  VICTIMS HAVE NO RIGHTS in America's Criminal judicial system.  There is nothing for the VICTIM; Nada, zip, zilch, zero, nil all simply because they are VICTIMS not CRIMINALS!

This travesty of injustice MUST STOP!  Good, innocent and law abiding American Citizen's MUST be protected from the increase in violent criminals who walk among us every day doing as they please as if they are entitled.

I must say what I have experienced since the murder of Justin has been more than just insane; no one cared about Justin; including the prosecution.  Their [joint] concern was for the criminal to receive justice.  This 23 year old career criminal has never showed remorse, never apologized and never appeared the least bit concerned that he took Justin's wondrous life.  The criminal is an evil young man; sadly there are people born into evil and this young man is one of those. 

The murder's defense team told many LIES about this career criminal's life and background; we will never know the truth.  Oh you were not aware a defense attorney can LEGALLY LIE to get his client off?  WAKE UP SOCIETY!  YES, a defense team may 'lie like a dog' to have their clients; murderers, pedophiles, thieves, rapists, stalkers, RELEASED back into society to continue to harm and ultimately murder all that is good and kind in our world.  The career criminal, who murdered Justin, committed perjury five times, that I am aware of, yet nothing was done?  I brought forth documents attesting this career criminal committed PERJURY to the prosecution and NO ONE BLINKED AN EYE, NO ONE CARED??  Remember IT is the CRIMINAL JUDICIAL SYSTEM!

If, in fact, I shared the entire story of what happened to my son in Prince George's County, MD when Justin was brutally and callously murdered by this career criminal many would not believe me; hell I still do not believe what was happening!  What I do know is my son was sadistically murdered, when Justin forfeited his life for two friends who were present when the CAREER CRIMINAL entered Justin's home in broad daylight on January 11, 2011 in a [so called] attempt to rob COLLEGE STUDENTS!  Which led the Prince George's County Press Release Room to fabricate a story that would rival any [cop show] criminal motives currently televised.  Suddenly my son, my Justin was thrust into the eye of the media as if HE, Justin, were the criminal; this police media tactic was when I had enough.  Hell, a representative of the PGPD Kevin Davis, stood in Justin's front yard in a News Conference and said [quote un quote], "He got what he deserved because of his lifestyle choices."  When Davis mouthed this unconscionable statement I was not even aware my Justin was DEAD.  Then again this is what Prince George's County, MD does; they are well known for accusing the VICTIM for their own MURDER.  This police method of attempting to not investigate crimes is happening all over America; the stories and numbers of these incidents against VICTIMS and SURVIVORS is staggeringly unbelievable and horrifying.

Keep in mind due to the economic downfall in America there are budget cuts every where including and not limited to police departments; many of the officers in PGPD do not agree with the way criminals are handled and are less than thrilled with the current 'catch & release' judicial system.

As time moves forward,  and I feel more comfortable, I will convey the entire story; my assessment~I feel as if I have been thrown into every episode of the "Twilight Zone" and Hitchcock movie ever written.  I did not know the America I live in until my son's murder and my encounter with OUR corrupt system.

I remain Justin's loving momma

Pictures from Christmas Day 2009; Justin and I always had fun, laughed, and enjoyed life.  Give us a can of silly string a life is GOOD!  I miss and love you honey with what remains of my heart.