A momma Left Inconsolable

Three years, 2 months, 24 days, 10 hours and 5 minutes at this posting Justin died...HE DIDN'T HAVE TO!! HONESTLY I feel no better TODAY than I did at 4:27 PM [January 11, 2011] when the Harford Co. sheriff's knocked on my door.

Do I look super human, do I look VOID of human emotion? Justin DeSha-Overcash knew I of all people deeply cared for everyone, every animal, everything I took part of; whether for the community, his school, my work or to fight a battle for any underdogs path I crossed. I am not boasting this is just me [the way GOD made me]. Not to mention I was raised by parents who taught me~ if you are going to do something put 180% into it the first time!

My life [before this never ending Twilight Zone episode] wasn't perfect but I had Justin beside me and we laughed together through ALL the bad times!

These few words should pretty much explain why I cannot [let go], why I cannot stand LIVING on this freaking planet without JUSTIN. Purpose? I had a purpose; I am JUSTIN'S momma!  A CAREER CRIMINAL WITH A GUN on the Prince George's County, MD "Catch and Release Program" ended MY purpose on this planet he ended my Justin's story on this planet without expressing any emotion.

Yet the COLD BLOODED MURDERER thinks he should just go about his merry little criminal business..OMG! He must have been dropped on his HEAD as a child TOO MANY TIMES!

He first hit the PG county MD police criminal list in 2007 [he was born in 1987].  He should have been in prison in 2009 for a charge he committed and was on PAROLE VIOLATION THE DAY HE MURDERED JUSTIN...but no he always found the 'loop holes'...then he managed avoiding being jailed in DC on the Felony II Handgun Charge he committed on December 18, 2010  {AFTER TWO JUDGES SAID NO to his release that he was to high intensity to be out on the street!!}??  He would have to remain jailed until his hearing date of JANUARY 24, 2011.  If EVEN ONE [JUST ONE] of these TWO Criminal charges had been CARRIED OUT JUSTIN WOULD BE ALIVE AND OUR FAMILY WOULD NOT EVEN KNOW THE DAILY PAIN WE NOW LIVE WITH!



My SON a statistic of a HUGE MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE!  LOST HIS LIFE BECAUSE PEOPLE WITH 'POWER' DID NOT DO THEIR JOB!!  That is why my son died.

Justin once asked me [2010] why people didn't do their jobs and then ironically, tragically and senselessly Justin DeSha-Overcash at 22 years of age IS CRUELLY MURDERED, ROBBED OF HIS LIFE and future, BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE DID NOT DO THEIR JOBS and released a HIGH INTENSITY CAREER CRIMINAL!

Society watch your back this happens everyday all across America..."it's a Business!"  I know because a prosecutor screamed this three inches from my face!

WILLIAMS~ I WANT MY SON BACK! DO YOU HEAR ME?

A Momma's Letter to Her College Age Son

I wrote the following letter to my son in 2008; sometimes I find it is easier to write down your thoughts and then the reader has an opportunity to understand the writers true intent.  Be patient with your children; it's their first trip on the planet.  Children will not know [and cannot learn] if their parents aren't loving, understanding and interested!

September 9, 2008

Dear Justin;

I am use to writing to Ty but I do not believe I have ever written a letter directly to you?  I have written many post cards, greeting cards, short notes; the “be right back” kind but never a letter.  I have stored away several letters I wrote to you when you were an infant and a toddler.  If you would like one day you may read them; or as I have always intended I will just leave them for you to read many years from now.

I really enjoyed our recent visit; I cannot even express how special the time spent with you is for me. Although it was far too short to suit me; it was probably just the right amount of time in your opinion! hahaha   I am aware you have grown into a man and our relationship will never be as it was when you were a child; but I will always miss this wonderful time from your younger years.  I never knew it would all go by so fast or that I could love someone so unconditionally; other than my parents and siblings.  I can see you in my mind rolling your eyes at that statement but you will always hold the # 1 spot in my heart; it’s a parental prerogative.  When you have children you will totally understand this emotion. 

 

I will reiterate the constant I have to offer you throughout life; honesty this is another of my personal habits which sets me apart.  I found it amazing a few years ago that people were emailing a web site to ask if something they were saying or doing was ethical!  WHAT?  If you do not have enough common sense to know what is and is not ethical you need serious help!  Right from Wrong is distinct; there is no cause which would prevent one from the ability to decipher the difference!  Possibly other than mental illness or inebriation from drugs or alcohol every one knows Right from Wrong.  Whether someone chooses to do right or wrong is a whole different subject; in choosing either there are always consequences which one must pay.  If a person can do wrong and live with the consequences so be it.  I have made bad decisions as well as wrong decisions; everyone has.  Heck, mistakes are the only thing we can call our own!  I have done things wrong and now, days, weeks, months, even years later I must live with the memories and the consequences of my choices.  It is all part of being human and having the gift of free will.

Illegal, I plead the fifth; but allow me to add I am one of the very lucky ones.  I did not get caught and punished or perish early for choosing to do something before thinking out the consequences.  I did not realize at the time that my choices would remain in my memory to come back and haunt me in my later years.  Justin you are going to do what you are going to do, it is predestined; as your mother I will always want to protect you and tell others they do not know you as I do.  I will always side with you and the decisions you make for yourself.  I clearly raised you to be independent, until recently, little did I know how well you learned this lesson.  I will forever be here for you no matter what road you choose to travel [that is what mothers] do protect, love, support and believe in their children.  In my heart I truly wish you to never have to endure the experience Ty has had to live at such a young age.  Ty has grown so much throughout this awful ordeal; but it could just as easily have gone the wrong way.  Be very careful in walking the fine line between legal and illegal honey; jail is no place for a middle class white male to spend any time at all.  I am so happy to see you learning to rein in your aggression.  It took me so much longer to get a hold on mine I think I figured out it scared the hell out of people somewhere in my 30’s.  “Sugar and Honey” gets me so much more than anger ever got me.  I know you saw so much aggression and anger from me at home growing up and this was wrong of me but as I tried several times to explain to you the anger truly was displaced; I was so angry at myself and extremely frustrated that I had settled for a life which did not allow me to pursue my dreams.  Relationships are a two way street with each party bearing equal shares of the success or failure.  I have wanted to share with you the following statement for the past few years; [you were never the issue]...I love you more than life itself…and you are the BEST work I have ever accomplished on this planet.  You are truly a subject in which I would get an “A+”! hahahaha    

I really wish I lived closer to you, not that I would want to interfere with your life;  not being able to see you for 8 months was very difficult.  But I am learning that you must lead your own life and I have a place in it, it is just a different place than when you were a child.  I have always been told I am good at embracing change and will find my place in our evolving relationship as Son and Mother.

You are in my thoughts daily…you float in and out of my mind all day, every day and will forever be my first and last thought of my day.

I love you so much honey,

momma