Justin Continues to Teach Me After He is Gone

"A new broom sweeps clean. 

Where there's a will there's a way."

An email to a friend on my birthday... 

WoW!  I did not realize you lived in Philly! I lived in Chalfont from 2002 through 2006...Justin graduated from Central Bucks South high school...the first year we lived there it snowed 27" in 7 hours if I could have gotten to a truck rental business I would have MOVED!! hahaha lord it got cold there...my poor Chihuahua was so cold sometimes! haha but if I had tried to put one of those coats on him he'd have eaten me!! lolololol

Thank you for thinking of me on my birthday...I have cried most of the day away...Justin was so much of my life...I truly wanted grandchildren and Justin would have been an amazingly great father and loving husband. In middle school he had already picked names for his children!! My 'planner'!

I was looking for a specific birthday card today that he had given me when I opened an envelop with another birthday card and a book marker fell out...for some unknown reason I turned it over and on the back Justin had written "A new broom sweeps clean. Where there's a will there's a way." The writing looked to be when he was in middle school...I burst into tears...wishing he were here so I could call him and ask the circumstances of the quote...why he had written it the way he did...you know Maria momma heart queries... "where there's a will" was written in a semi circle [?]

I believe [in my heart] Justin wished for me to find this today...I was actually out among people this past holiday...for the first three years I slept from October through February. Truly, I seemed to be like a bear hibernating.  Even the little greeting lady at Walmart was proud of me this year for being out and about...

Through this year if I were sitting at a traffic light I would motion the driver beside me to roll down their window...then I'd shout Merry Christmas and they would burst into laughter and shout Merry Christmas back! I must have told 500 people Merry Christmas...I guess I was making up for hibernating the past three years!



 
I believe I got so wrapped up in being 'Justin's momma' I forgot who [Karen] is...now I must go and find out who she is and what she can do without Justin by her side. "A new broom sweeps clean. Where there's a will there's a way."  

Damn Maria I cannot tell you how many times I have been knocked down in life; I have just never been down this long I always got right back up!!!! I have been in counseling since 3/2011...that's a long time...I should be cured of anything and everything by now! 



Before [before everything was different] when I was knocked down it never involved anything I cherished, wanted, needed, cared for, loved, and was so closely tied to..... this truly sucks!   

Sorry it's been a bad day...another birthday without Justin...this makes five...but now that I have received direction things may just begin to look up...I know that I need to find me...Justin's momma died.  She died with Justin at 12:30 P.M. on January 11, 2011.

I hope this message isn't to, you know, weird? Your message just happened along when I realized what the problem/solution is....

Try to stay warm up there in Philly...I did like it there...although the people are always in such a hurry! Justin once asked me, "momma why are they always in such a hurry?" My reply, "I don't know honey I've never been in one!" hahaha I truly loved being a momma...now I have to be a 'Karen'...oh lord that's a little scary!!

Take it easy Chick! I'll try not to get too much weird~er

Hum? Karen? WoW!

The Aquarius Mom

"Eclectic hardly begins to describe you. “You’re affectionate yet aloof, stern yet spontaneous, the world’s mellowest control freak,” write the AstroTwins. Organized chaos is your specialty, meaning that your family life never becomes boring. You might be surprised by the depth of emotion motherhood has brought to your normally intimacy-fearing self—and you have your fourth house of motherhood, governed by traditional Taurus, to thank for that. Be careful not to lose site of your true edgy self or you may build up resentment or trigger an identity crisis."

"Organized chaos" describes me to a 'T'!! I lost sight of myself because of loving you so much honey; this is quite alright, I do not mind in the least. Justin DeSha-Overcash you were so loving back you found the 'key to my heart'!

I found it interesting that my fourth house of [Motherhood] is governed by traditional Taurus ~ and you Babe are a Taurus! Gosh knows I wish you were hear so I could pick up the damn phone and call you!

Nope there was [never] a dull moment in our house was there honey? Justin you brought out in me a depth of emotion I never knew I had or could experience. Thank you honey so very much for I never knew true love until you came into my life. Justin I have no regrets we had so much fun and laughed a lot. I just wish this had not come to an end.

Oh and not to worry Justin, for you know me well, there was never a moment of resentment or identity crisis, on my part, before or after I saw that tiny beautiful face in the delivery room May 1, 1988 at 2:41 AM. Only joy and happiness can, and will continue, to be found in my shattered heart for you honey.

I am lucky I guess for you'd have to say I have so many memories to play over and over in my mind of the laughter filled moments which no one can take away from me, Honey I love and miss you something awful, momma

Justin Christmas 2009 we had a great day!  Laughter, conversation, an epic silly string battle, great food, special sweets and treats....son I miss you so very much I do not even bake Red Velvet cake anymore...your favorite.  I wish we could go back in time, just one minute before you were shot, and somehow your fate could be changed.  I would gladly take your place Justin my son, my constant, my beloved, my joy, my heartbeat, mt breath, my everything.

WHO Murdered Christopher Cummings?

Christopher was studying law enforcement at Old Dominion University and instead of going home for summer break was talking a course!

Christopher Cummings just 20 years old was senselessly murdered in his frat house, June 10, 2011, when an unknown assailant kicked open the door at 4:30 AM.and shot him to death.

Chris' birthday is approaching on January 29, 2015 a day hardest on parents, siblings, and friends. 

The SENSELESS MURDERS of our young people MUST STOP!  They have never captured Chris' murderer [?]  Someone knows something human nature alone dictates someone will talk; how can a person live with this tragic and horrid murder of an innocent person on their soul?

Christopher Cummings and those victims like him MUST HAVE THEIR DAY IN COURT!  They must have JUSTICE!

I am Justin's [sad] momma

There is a reward for information leading to the arrest and incarceration of the person [or persons] responsible for the murder Chris and assault and attempted murder of his Frat mate on June 10, 2011.


Christopher Cumming's Memorial Video 

http://youtu.be/vd-8PPaYUUM

Friend writes rap video in Christoper Cummings honor
 
http://youtu.be/GTs1rEJik_8