The Gaul of Some People Who Speak to Parents of Murdered Children

****An email I penned to a Mrs Haas in MD Governor O'Malley's office in 2011 pursuant to the murder and [sweeping under the rug] of 25 [TWENTY FIVE] human lives in Prince George's County MD. I attached the letter UMd's authors of Justin's wonderful legacy Award to apprise any of you who are not familiar with what this award can do for out-of-state students who truly wish to make a difference through research!

NO I was NOT nice to the Governor's office as they were NOT nice to the family's or VICTIMS who were VIOLENTLY murdered.

March 17, 2011

Dear Ms. Haas;

I appreciate your prompt response to my letter regarding the unconscionable treatment received by my only child and son, Justin DeSha-Overcash, at the hands of the Prince George's County Police Press Department after being fatally wounded in his home. Although I can understand no one wishes to think (god forbid) the police make mistakes or 'jump the gun' (so to speak); I beg to differ. Colonel Davis' actions shortly after my son's heinous MURDER have all the ear markings of using Justin as a scapegoat. During Colonel Davis' mud slinging speech in front of the media, to calm the fear of the residents of Prince George's County, he slandered my son and I have no intention of allowing this miscarriage of justice to be 'laid upon my son's back'. As naive as I can be even I have the ability to recognize an outrageously callous use of police propaganda. Justin was the ELEVENTH murder in first ELEVEN days of January; this should have been my son's most phenomenal year as he was to graduate this May. Why did the PG County Police take it upon themselves not to notify the UMD Campus Police of the sudden rise in violent crimes so the UMDCP could pass this urgent life saving information onto the students, staff and faculty? (You know and I know why they did not notify anyone!)

I shared with Pauline Mandel my participation in grief counseling in confidence and I will definitely take this up with Mrs. Mandel. For the record I am seeking counseling because I lost my son and our Nation lost a brilliant scientist; I am well aware the PG County Police used my son and no amount of counseling will change this reality. What I and everyone else heard, saw and read on January 11, 2011 coming out of Colonel Davis' mouth pursuant to my son's lifestyle was incredulously incompetent. Might I suggest Colonel Davis of the Prince George's County Police Press Department seek counseling or better yet a course in Ethics?

Not one person (American Citizen) to whom I have spoken believes the PG County Police Department has done justice to any of the 25 (Twenty Five) murder victims in the first three months of 2011. Not only have I been advocating for my son I am standing steadfast for all 25 (Twenty Five) PG County murder victims who were treated as if they deserved to die. I will continue my campaign in pursuit of justice for my son as well as all violent crime victims of PG County to the fullest extent of my abilities; with or without assistance from authorities who could make a difference.

Below I am including a letter written by the University of Maryland and emailed to their data base today regarding my son, Justin DeSha-Overcash, possibly you will then understand my involvement and commitment for the 'long-haul'. Thank you for your time, and by the way, one person can make a difference. Justin certainly made a wondrous and selfless difference in a mere twenty two years.

Regards,

Karen L. DeSha
Proud TERP mother of Justin Vance DeSha-Overcash
828-505-1264

P. S. I raised Justin to believe he should trust police and our political figures; I remember explaining to him "they are there to protect and serve". How was I to know I was lying to Justin; we were middle class and had never had any involvement with the legal system.

FROM: The University of Maryland College Park MD
March 17, 2011

Dear friend,

Early in 2011 the University of Maryland lost a very special student, Justin DeSha-Overcash. Justin was a remarkable young man who had a passion for learning and teaching. As a physics and astronomy double major, Justin carried a full course load to prepare himself for a scientific career and often spoke of graduate school to continue his education and his love of research. In his sophomore year Justin added geophysics as a minor and began working with Professor Hier-Majumder on research regarding the Earth's core-mantle boundary. Justin's contributions to this research were displayed at the 2010 fall meeting of the American Geophysical Union, attended by 16,000 researchers and his success further deepened his commitment to pursue a graduate degree in this field. Justin was an active member of the Society of Physics Student, the Maryland Astronomy Observatory and a tutor to Maryland Student-Athletes. The loss of this wonderful, engaging and giving student is felt all over our campus.

Justin’s experience was the essence of the undergraduate experience; learning about one's self both inside and outside the classroom, discovering a world of opportunities in new fields and contributing to groundbreaking research in a hands-on and significant manner. Unfortunately Justin’s journey was cut short, but the opportunity to ensure that other students are able to participate in research and make discoveries about our world and themselves is very much alive.

With your help we would like to establish the Justin DeSha-Overcash Summer Research Award to assist undergraduate students eager to pursue research opportunities and explore a world of possibilities. This research award will honor the memory of Justin by providing an out of state student who is financially needy a stipend to conduct summer research here at Maryland. Such an award not only recognizes Justin’s work and the important value he placed on research, but would significantly assist a student who is struggling to pay bills for housing, food and tuition.

As an out of state student Justin was heavily impacted by the high price of higher education and living expenses. He worked as many as four jobs during a semester to pay his tuition. It is our hope that this award will allow a student to stay at Maryland to conduct research that he or she is genuinely interested in rather than be forced to take a job that simply pays the bills.

Please use the enclosed envelope to make your gift and honor Justin and support the dreams of future scientists. Checks can be made payable to The University of Maryland College Park Foundation (UMCPF) with a memo line designating the gift to the Justin DeSha-Overcash Award. Donations may also be made online at https://advancement.umd.edu/giving/ and searching for “Overcash” and following the links.

If you have any questions or would like more information about this award please contact Lawrence Liff at 301-405-1082 or lliff@umd.edu .

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Saswata Hier-Majumder
Geology Department

Elizabeth Warner
UMD Obs.Coordinator

Parent's of murdered children~We're not going crazy...

Remember we're not going crazy; we are grieving, we are normal~!
Justin's momma


Copied from the FBI Victim's Assistance site 05/15/2013

Coping with Crime Victimization

Anyone can become a victim of a crime. If it happens to you or someone you love, here are some important points to remember:

Being a victim of a crime can be a very difficult and stressful experience. While most people are naturally resilient and over time will find ways to cope and adjust, there can be a wide range of after effects to a trauma. One person may experience many of the effects, a few, or none at all. Not everyone has the same reaction. In some people the reaction may be delayed days, weeks, or even months. Some victims may think they are “going crazy,” when they are having a normal reaction to an abnormal event.

Getting back to normal can be a difficult process after a personal experience of this kind, especially for victims of violent crime and families of murder victims. Learning to understand and feel more at ease with the intense feelings can help victims better cope with what happened.

Victims may need to seek help from friends, family, a member of the clergy, a counselor, or a victim assistance professional.

Potential effects of trauma

Some people who have been victims of crime may experience some of these symptoms. Seek medical advice if the symptoms persist.

Physical

Nausea
Tremors
Chills or sweating
Lack of coordination
Heart palpitations or chest pains
High blood pressure
Headaches
Sleep disturbances
Stomach upset
Dizziness
Loss of appetite
Startled responses

Emotional

Anxiety
Fear
Guilt
Grief
Depression
Sadness
Anger
Irritability
Numbness
Feeling lost, abandoned, and isolated
Wanting to withdraw or hide

Mental

Slowed thinking
Confusion
Disorientation
Memory problems
Intrusive memories or flashbacks
Nightmares
Inability to concentrate
Difficulty in making decisions

Tips for coping

These are some ideas that may help you cope with the trauma or loss:

Find someone to talk with about how you feel and what you are going through. Keep the phone number of a good friend nearby to call when you feel overwhelmed or feel panicked.
Allow yourself to feel the pain. It will not last forever.
Keep a journal.
Spend time with others, but make time to spend time alone.
Take care of your mind and body. Rest, sleep, and eat regular, healthy meals.
Re-establish a normal routine as soon as possible, but don’t over-do.
Make daily decisions, which will help to bring back a feeling of control over your life.
Exercise, though not excessively and alternate with periods of relaxation.
Undertake daily tasks with care. Accidents are more likely to happen after severe stress.
Recall the things that helped you cope during trying times and loss in the past and think about the
things that give you hope. Turn to them on bad days.

These are things to avoid:

Be careful about using alcohol or drugs to relieve emotional pain. Becoming addicted not only postpones healing, but also creates new problems.
Make daily decisions, but avoid making life changing decisions in the immediate aftermath, since judgment may be temporarily impaired.
Don’t blame yourself—it wasn’t your fault.
Your emotions need to be expressed. Try not to bottle them up.

For some victims and families of victims, life is forever changed. Life may feel empty and hollow. Life doesn’t “mean” what it used to. Part of coping and adjusting is redefining the future. What seemed important before may not be important now. Many victims find new meaning in their lives as a result of their experience. It is important to remember that emotional pain is not endless and that it will eventually ease. It is impossible to undo what has happened but life can be good again in time.

For family and friends of a victim of crime:

Listen carefully.
Spend time with the victim.
Offer your assistance, even if they haven’t asked for help.
Help with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding the children.
Give them private time.
Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally.
Don’t tell them they are “lucky it wasn’t worse”—traumatized people are not consoled by such statements.
Tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred to them and you want to understand and help them.

When the world stops turning; what's next?

On Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 4:20 P.M. the two sheriffs knocked on my front door. They introduced themselves and asked if they could come in; whoa I thought I was 'in for it' my auto tag was expired and from another state. The loss of my job due to the economy had left me with no extra funds for anything other than extreme necessities. The female spoke first asking if I had a son named Justin DeSha-Overcash. I replied, "Yes?" Then the male sheriff quietly added, "Your son has been shot and killed." Suddenly I felt like "Alice In Wonderland" when she drank from the bottle and shrank so very small. The living room where we sat became huge and my hearing difficult. I can not explain what happened to me at this point in time; I believe I was attempting to wrap my mind around what the sheriff had said and thinking to myself, "This is not possible; it's not true it has to be a lie." I regained my composure long enough to inform them they were wrong and added, "I will call him and prove that you're wrong." I quickly dialed my son's number...nothing. In this split second, when my son did not answer, I knew he was gone; gone forever senselessly murdered in cold blood by an unknown masked assailant at 11:27 A.M. The worst nightmare, of a parent, to loose your child had come to fruition for me. The sheriffs did not have a lot of details; I was told my son had been murdered in his home in Prince George's County, across the street from where he attended college. I quickly dialed Justin's father's [my former husband] number but got his voice mail. I would find out, five minutes later, he had ignored his phone ringing to answer a knock at his door; it was the sheriffs in Bucks County, PA. After speaking briefly with my former spouse I dialed my mother and simply said, "Mom, Justin is dead." In disbelief she screamed, "WHAT?" I quickly added, "The sheriffs are here they said he was shot in his home and the hospital worked on him for 30 minutes; he was pronounced at 12:30 P.M." She shouted, "We're on the way!" and hung up the phone. They would travel all through the night from Asheville, NC to Bel Air, MD in a snow storm and arrive at my home at 7:30 A.M. the following morning. The sheriffs would not leave; they could not leave me alone they had to stay with me until I had someone I knew come to my home. My older brother, Scott, lived with his family about 3 miles away it seemed like no time had passed between my phone call and his appearing at the door of my home. He hugged me asked if I was okay; then turned his attention to the sheriffs. He asked questions I had not thought of simply because I could not think; normally I am great in stressful situations but my son, my constant, my light, my beautiful son was dead. The sheriffs were very kind and comforting I vaguely remember them both offering sincere condolences for my loss and hugging before they left. My older brother, a physicist, is not one to show emotion he sat silently. By 9:00 P.M. I was making consistent and unsuccessful calls to the PG County Police Department no one would tell me anything of substance. I began to call friends and family as I was not able to afford cable or internet they were all wonderful in keeping me informed with the breaking news; without my knowledge they were also censoring what they were telling me regarding the medias comments on Justin's murder. The issues began when I received a call from Sondra telling me that a PG County police official with the media department held a live news conference and stated (quote un quote), "The victim was targeted due to the lifestyle he chose. Remember my son has been brutally murdered and I had no real news to go on and in my mental fog I said, "Are they referring to the man who killed my son?" She quietly explained, "No, Karen they are talking about Justin's lifestyle." Very confused I angrily defended my son when I yelled into the receiver, "What the hell do they mean "my son's lifestyle?" Slowly she began to tell me what had been said on national television stations about my son. He was being depicted as the biggest drug dealer of College Park, MD. This bizarre news conference had been held shortly after Justin's death, with no investigation, no knowledge of who my son is and without telling me or Justin's father our son was gone. After hearing this I sat down on the edge of the sofa and around 2:00 A.M. I asked Scott to go home. At first he was hesitant but I assured him I would be just fine. All I really wanted, at that time, was to be left alone with my grief at the sudden and unexplained loss of my son, my beautiful son. I sat down in the exact same place without moving until 3:30 P.M. Wednesday [January 12, 2011].