My most favorite memory of a Justin consistent 'gesture of love' through my eyes:
I love Justin with what remains of my heart, as you all know, so very much. So much that many times I do not speak of my wonderful gift from God in past tense simply because I feel Justin's presence with me all of the time. It is fine with me if you believe or disbelieve my statement; I know what I have seen and felt since Justin's death and these moments have been moving, unexplainable and undeniable!
When Justin was a baby I marveled at how tiny [6 lbs 71/2 ozs] yet perfectly shaped and beautiful he was. As a toddler I found it amazing how soft his skin was especially his hands when he firmly took hold of mine when crossing the street or for other reasons which required his safety. He touched my face so gently, caressing my cheek and telling me how soft my face felt; no softer than his tiny hand against my skin felt!
So many times throughout each year he would occasionally stop me, ask me to hold up my right hand, lay his hand against mine and check to see if his hand was growing! This occurred so many times year after years and yes Justin's hand grew and grew. Then one fateful day Justin held his hand up to mine and our hands were finally the same size.
Justin was overjoyed with excitement; yet for me his excitement was bittersweet. For as his mother I knew another chapter had ended and Justin would soon no longer be a child.
Even though this change was inevitable and coming too quickly from elementary school all the way through Justin's junior year in high school I would wait for him outside the school every afternoon. Justin sauntered unhurriedly to the Durango, opened the rear passenger door, tossed in his 190 lb. book bag, slammed the door, opened the front passenger door, jumped in, smiled that beautiful 'DeSha' smile and would say "how you been doin' today momma?" Then he'd lay his left forearm on the center arm rest, palm up, and I would lay my right hand, palm down in his hand, and this is how we drove home every day discussing the days events. [I KID YOU NOT] This is one of my many most wondrous of so many joyous Justin memories!
I miss my son because we truly had a special bond. All parents have special bonds yet Justin's bond gave me my first sense of completeness. My bond with Justin, my son, is like no bond I had ever had with another human being. As I have said on numerous occasions; "I gave Justin my whole heart and he never hurt it; not even ONCE!"
I love you and miss you and no one can take your place my bunny boy...your [devoted and proud] momma
I love Justin with what remains of my heart, as you all know, so very much. So much that many times I do not speak of my wonderful gift from God in past tense simply because I feel Justin's presence with me all of the time. It is fine with me if you believe or disbelieve my statement; I know what I have seen and felt since Justin's death and these moments have been moving, unexplainable and undeniable!
When Justin was a baby I marveled at how tiny [6 lbs 71/2 ozs] yet perfectly shaped and beautiful he was. As a toddler I found it amazing how soft his skin was especially his hands when he firmly took hold of mine when crossing the street or for other reasons which required his safety. He touched my face so gently, caressing my cheek and telling me how soft my face felt; no softer than his tiny hand against my skin felt!
So many times throughout each year he would occasionally stop me, ask me to hold up my right hand, lay his hand against mine and check to see if his hand was growing! This occurred so many times year after years and yes Justin's hand grew and grew. Then one fateful day Justin held his hand up to mine and our hands were finally the same size.
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| Justin's hand 1992 4 years old day care in Charlotte, NC |
Justin was overjoyed with excitement; yet for me his excitement was bittersweet. For as his mother I knew another chapter had ended and Justin would soon no longer be a child.
Even though this change was inevitable and coming too quickly from elementary school all the way through Justin's junior year in high school I would wait for him outside the school every afternoon. Justin sauntered unhurriedly to the Durango, opened the rear passenger door, tossed in his 190 lb. book bag, slammed the door, opened the front passenger door, jumped in, smiled that beautiful 'DeSha' smile and would say "how you been doin' today momma?" Then he'd lay his left forearm on the center arm rest, palm up, and I would lay my right hand, palm down in his hand, and this is how we drove home every day discussing the days events. [I KID YOU NOT] This is one of my many most wondrous of so many joyous Justin memories!
I miss my son because we truly had a special bond. All parents have special bonds yet Justin's bond gave me my first sense of completeness. My bond with Justin, my son, is like no bond I had ever had with another human being. As I have said on numerous occasions; "I gave Justin my whole heart and he never hurt it; not even ONCE!"
I love you and miss you and no one can take your place my bunny boy...your [devoted and proud] momma
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