After Justin's birth fast realization he was different/smart/ahead

A few words about Justin.

First written July 23, 2011 ~Edited December 06, 2013

I had listened to other parents stories and by the time I was ready to deliver you honey I was convinced I did not possess the proficiency or mental capacity to parent a child!  I truly did not have the slightest notion what to expect or know prior to your appearance.

**I heard all these other women screaming and I said, Harold [ob/gyn] "why are all these women screaming?'  Harold's classic response, "They're having babies!"  I said, "Dude if it gets much worse I'm GOING HOME!"  Oh and I MEANT IT!  

**Well, the first is Justin is so small every time we put his diaper on and pick him up Justin's diaper immediately fall's off!


Then after you become a parent; there is no personalized instruction manual in all those gobs of things you're sent home with from hospital! You are suddenly stricken with the horrific realization that this is full blown 'on the job' training that actually involves a human being; a tiny, itty, bitty REAL human being!  At it's best, speaking as a once terrified new parent honestly at times, it can be  frighteningly overwhelming.  I know I am so supportive; yes my friends say this about me all of the time!

Yes you will find that you constantly question yourself and your methods while rearing your child all the while hoping the damage you do is not going to prevent your children from becoming a positive force as a member of society. Then there are days, the glorious days, you just know all is well with your child and they are progressing into wonderfully compassionate, strong, intelligent adults prepared for the challenges life offers.

I was lucky; Justin was an easy child to raise. He was just a happy little person from the very beginning. Justin had focus, depth, compassion, empathy, a beautiful heart and mind that possessed knowledge, he learned quickly and never failed to notice what others did.

Even when Justin was a young child he had wisdom far beyond his years and passion, WOW, he approached everything with passion.  Early on I knew Justin enjoyed math; he liked games that involved math or preferred asking us to write down math problems for him to solve all day long on Saturdays!

Watching him sometimes I found myself fascinated at his GOD given knowledge which he worked diligently to enhance through constant study and research.  A very old soul residing in a very young man's body; he could come up with profoundly logical solution to extremely difficult equations.

Justin never harmed or hurt anyone in his life.  He had no enemies and never held a grudge. When you became a friend, bruh, sister this on Justin's part is a life long commitment.   Justin was the type of person no matter what time of day or night, no matter what the circumstance, he always made time to comfort and advise those whom needed him and that would have been thee for him, too, those friends/cuzes he loves so dearly.

He loves music and always said, "music brings people together!"  He was composing his own pieces for competition on the alto sax in the seventh grade.  Justin play the tenor and alto sax, keyboard, guitar and drums.  Music is physics and math.....well really both.  In Justin's journal he writes about the beats he hears in his head and has put many down on [garageband].  I like them all but it is my son's work...nah even though it is Justin's work I have always enjoyed all venues of music including Rap, Hip/Hop, R&b, Jazz, Hard Rock, Show Tunes, etc.  So did Jca$h..."music does bring people d together."

Go not be too angry with me for boasting; you Justin were my gift from God; I ask to know of true happiness and love before departing this world and God sent you...GOD BLESS you my beautiful son. I love and miss you beyond human comprehension....momma 'out'

A collage for you Honey, love you always and forever, momma