One Smart Child
Justin
Story Age 16 months old; Justin's first experience with a candy bar!
This memory is so vividly etched on my mind it is as if this joyful
moment occurred yesterday. I chose to give Justin a piece of a Kit Kat;
I decided this would be a perfect proportion. He grasped it in his
little fist and without hesitation bit off the part of the candy bar
exposed above his clenched fist. As I watched
him chewing his eyes began to grow bigger; Justin liked the candy bar. I
asked if I could have a bite and he pointed to his fist and shook his
head, 'no' indicating there was none left for me to bite. I pointed to
the bottom of his fist where there, exposed, was about a 1/2 inch of Kit
Kat. Justin turned his fist, looked at this morsel, bit it off and
pointing he shook his head, 'no' again indicating there was none left
for me to bite!! hahaha Justin was already able to analyze and come up
with a solution thus allowing me NO candy!! This is the night I decided
to give Justin his own drawer in the kitchen; Justin's "Candy Drawer".
This allowed us the simplistic solution of never having to 'child
proof' the kitchen or house for that matter. Not saying this would work
with all children but it did with Justin....never did he open any other
drawers or cabinets. Why would he; he had his own drawer! I love you
honey...in my minds eye I can see you as clearly as if I had returned
in time to this precious moment. I remain Justin's momma
 |
| Chocolate FACE! Westminster, MD Justin's first home! He resided here from May 6,1988 through August 1989. |
Sorry I digress; you didn't even know there was a purpose for this newest blog! A whole 'nother story and this is not it! Although it did make me smile remembering this night I wish you could have seen him bite the other end of the Kit Kay bar and then point and shake his head; classic move!!
____________________________________________________________________
Going back to 2002.....Relocating to PA from NC.....It is my personal belief, as a Southerner, when one leaves the South for the North they should be issued a Green Card! bahahahha
Okay so here goes I am now ready to share the real story I felt compelled to type as it does not seem to want to go away from my memory. I share them, with whomever finds them of interest or learns something from the sequence of events [now past], then I can move to another level in my sad attempt to understand this surreal and bittersweet journey [like too many others] I find myself on.
[Just a footnote when we relocated, to Pa to reside for four years, the first grocery store visit [Ginuardi's] took Justin and me almost 4 hours! There were products there neither one of us had ever seen in our lives and we were both so curious we had a great time!]
From first grade through eighth grade Justin attended elementary [Overton]
and middle [Knox] in Salisbury, NC. Salisbury, located in the Piedmont
region of NC, is rarely very cold. One can grow some types of flora 12
months a year [most years] as the climate rarely calls for more than
layered light jackets. Salisbury, NC a truly beautiful and friendly city to visit with many Historical sites of interest to see.
 |
Salisbury NC
Justin with his cuzes at Knox Middle school; Justin's love football
one sport where everyone must work together as a team! |
|
|
|
|
|
For decades many Northerners have relocated to the southern states for the kinder climate and for a less stressful lifestyle. The opposite though is true of Southerners; rarely does a born and bred Southerner relocate north! Um,we did; when we relocated from Salisbury, NC to Chalfont PA, for us, it was like
moving to another country!
Counties, Townships, Borrows, [I felt like some type of underground animal], school taxes; this is all very confusing to a southerner? Different foods, colloquialisms, attitudes,
everyone always in a hurry, everyone blaming everyone else, everyone speaking in a very loud voice [they considered] normal?
[Another footnote Justin's first introduction to a Hogie did not go very well!]
Justin, a ninth grader, started attending Unami
Middle School; when I picked him up on his first day
I asked, "So
how
was it?" He looked straight ahead, never skipping a beat, he factually
stated, "Momma I'm going to get caucasaphobia!" I thought I was going to
fall
out of the car I was laughing so hard. How he came up with such
hysterically funny insights is
beyond me. Justin always noticed things others either did not
notice or simply chose to ignore. [The later being the true reality of
most people lacking interest in this world!]
[Footnote Justin did not understand why the PA teachers did not stand at the classroom doors and greet the students in the morning like the teachers in NC??]
Unami had
just under 1,000 students from 7th, 8th and 9th grades~0nly 8 student
alumnus were African American~Black. These few students and Justin
became fast friends; he treated them differently from the local
students. Justin had a couple of hurtful and hateful altercations
for which I called and informed the school, "If ya'll cannot straighten
this out I'll be more than happy, too!" I believe I added something to
the effect of "tearing down the school one brick at a time with my bear
hands is not a stretch"! Yes this sounds exactly like me and I meant every word! They
got it straightened out pronto! There are times in life, "
NICE don't feed the Bull dog!!"
They knew I am southern, they knew I spoke like a hillbilly, they did
not know I possess an IQ above 130 and was as protective of Justin as a momma bear. I have always found it most
interesting that so many Northerners believe Southerners to be illiterate; even comparing us to the 1960's TV sit-com "Mayberry".
This was [one] of the main reasons behind my call to Unami; students were bullying
Justin and calling him illiterate. Justin was taught to be the "bigger
person" so he would not boast of his high IQ and his scholastic
accomplishments; HOWEVER, I will!
[Footnote Justin wanted to know why the PA students thought he was illiterate because he came from the South?]
Oh now do not get me wrong my boasting about Justin's scholastic prowess aggravated him to no end and he
would always whisper to me, "momma why do you always tell people about my school;
don't do that!" I would answer with the same comment, "aw Honey I am just so proud of
you; if I had been half as focused as you growing up who knows
where I could be." Then Justin would just laugh knowingly; as if he did
understand this was part of his mommas love and pride that he
maintained his focus and had not allowed outside influences to take his
[eye] off his goals. He still did not like that I spoke of his accomplishments; he preferred no one know his grades. Justin decided in elementary if his anyone knew about his grades they might not like him.
Parents receiving notes from school? Imagine how embarrassing, for us as parents, to receive a note Justin's first year attending Unami middle in PA asking us, "Could you please see that your son is properly clothed for the climate?" WHOA! Unaccustomed to this harsher, colder, windy climate Justin was
shivering, his extremities visually red enduring standing outside during
Health/PE trying to be like the other guys!
 |
| Justin properly attired for the colder elements!! Look at that DeSha smile...wow! |
In February 2003 [while residing in PA] Justin came home one afternoon concerned that his middle school [Unami] was not observing "Black History Month". Justin asked if I would please call the school on this matter. Of course I called the school; I too wanted to know why there was no mention of "Black History Month". Oh I already knew the answer I just wanted to see them squirm; hey I have a [dark side!] So many Black Doctors, Scientists, Physicists, Mathematicians, Engineers, Historians, Educators, Actors, Composers, Musicians, Directors, Writers, Poets, I can go on and on with the many contributions by men and women not being recognized. When Justin ask me a question and I do not know the answer I do research to attain the answer; what I found was bigotry.
[Footnote the principal at Unami ask me if I had his permission to explain to Justin why Unami did not observe "Black History Month?" My response, "Go ahead but keep in mind Justin is brilliant; but possesses my personality." When Justin got in the car that afternoon I said, "Honey did the principal talk with you?" He said, almost in a questioning tone, "Yeah momma but he kept talking about *"Ellis Island Day". * A whole 'nother blog!! OMG! You will never believe what this school representative said to my son and me! I still shudder to think folks like this have a job molding young minds!]
All of the new young folks Justin encountered had known each other for decades; the
same statistic Justin had left in NC! Being the new kid, like Justin, though is
not an easy task; so painfully shy he really had to learn how to break
out of his shell first. Because Justin does not see color it took some time
for many of the PA students to understand and appreciate Justin's
compassion and kindness toward everyone. He slowly began to make a few
friends; however, it would take time to meet anyone he felt comfortable
enough to spend a lot of time around outside of the school experience or
the occasional Saturday afternoon movie. For a little over two years Justin mainly stayed in the basement studying and finally the day came.
My concern for Justin how to make friends; lasting friends? Who knew all it would take was the right person to hear Justin utter "ya'll"? Thank God for Rob Campbell [a well known and well liked student a year older] who introduced Justin to everyone and showed him the ropes! Not to mention the many
lessons of
independence and leadership sunk in so much better than I [had] hoped, the lessons in
diffusing altercations verbally~excellent!
 |
| Everyone packed and ready to leave for their respective colleges from PA. Lasting friends/Cuzes/brothers/sisters. |
[Diffuse the situation verbally by calming your foe; precisely what Justin was
attempting to do the day he was murdered; however; Justin had not
learned one cannot rationalize with an irrational [spawn of satin, yes I
typed this] being.]
 |
| The career criminal was wearing an ankle monitor he rec'd 22 days before cold bloodily murdering Justin for a Felony II Handgun Charge in DC. The murderer was NOT supposed to be released until his trial date 13 days AFTER HE MURDERED Justin. The murderer was also on a parole violation for a 2009 charge he committed in the county in which he MURDERED Justin. Not once but TWICE this murderer just waiting to HAPPEN was supposed to be JAILED! |
| | |
| [Footnote THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE for the harm and heinously cowardice act that befell my beautiful son and the life long mental and emotional destruction heaped upon Justin's family and friends!] |
Justin's genetic make-up is innate; I have watched him evolve since birth. Justin is competitive but not a bully, strong but not self absorbed, independent but compassionate, persevering but places others before his own needs. He has respect for others, empathy for others, and a true love of people and all that surrounds him in nature and the sky. He is loyal to societal morals and ethics.
 |
| Justin and Luke on 38th Avenue College Park; I had taken Justin to a dr appt and we stopped by my rental home and picked up Luke for a ride. Justin was laughing so hard and loudly when Luke got into the car. he had never seen Luke's riding [preparedness regime] in action! |
During the next four years Justin would point out many differences,
between NC and PA, until his high school graduation date in June 2006. I
am so proud Justin possessed the flexibility and maturity one needs to
change your entire life [as you knew it] yet continue to learn,
grow scholastically and ultimately succeed. These four years, in PA, showed me everything I needed to know about my son; Justin would succeed in life without much difficulty. He'd 'roll with the punches' and 'if he got knocked down' he wouldn't be down long. He possessed a resilience and strength of attitude and was 'always up for the challenge.' He would not be intimidated; he was happy, worked hard and was destined to have a good life. Justin could see the bigger picture and knew "in the scheme of things there were so many things that do not matter."
 |
| My SON! |
Early on Justin foresaw the use of physics, not just in his scholastic aptitude, but in his everyday life and always had back-up plans! I never saw Justin scholastically unprepared; he truly loved learning and expanding his mind as much as athletes love practicing and prepping for a game.
 |
| Justin at the corner of Campus and University[UMd College Park, MD] Justin's Almata [Grad 2011] |
Justin played sports, musical instruments, composed music and consistently came up with entrepreneurial [small business] opportunities that were fresh, exciting and challenging. Justin was thinking all of the time and he enjoyed many interests. In my opinion, Justin lived more in his short 22 years than many live in an entire life time....he used every minute wisely! Do you?
 |
| 'Better times' Justin and Goofy [not pictured CJ] at Disney World celebrating Justin's 13th Birthday! |
|
|
|
|
|
Son I miss you so very deeply the pain is real; the day you left I felt something being physically ripped from my body. Something important, something I needed to survive in this world; YOU! I love you honey. I am and will remain [love you bigger than the universe] your momma
