I received my sign; how about you? Justin's [changing the world one person at a time] momma

Parent's of murdered children~We're not going crazy...

Remember we're not going crazy; we are grieving, we are normal~!
Justin's momma


Copied from the FBI Victim's Assistance site 05/15/2013

Coping with Crime Victimization

Anyone can become a victim of a crime. If it happens to you or someone you love, here are some important points to remember:

Being a victim of a crime can be a very difficult and stressful experience. While most people are naturally resilient and over time will find ways to cope and adjust, there can be a wide range of after effects to a trauma. One person may experience many of the effects, a few, or none at all. Not everyone has the same reaction. In some people the reaction may be delayed days, weeks, or even months. Some victims may think they are “going crazy,” when they are having a normal reaction to an abnormal event.

Getting back to normal can be a difficult process after a personal experience of this kind, especially for victims of violent crime and families of murder victims. Learning to understand and feel more at ease with the intense feelings can help victims better cope with what happened.

Victims may need to seek help from friends, family, a member of the clergy, a counselor, or a victim assistance professional.

Potential effects of trauma

Some people who have been victims of crime may experience some of these symptoms. Seek medical advice if the symptoms persist.

Physical

Nausea
Tremors
Chills or sweating
Lack of coordination
Heart palpitations or chest pains
High blood pressure
Headaches
Sleep disturbances
Stomach upset
Dizziness
Loss of appetite
Startled responses

Emotional

Anxiety
Fear
Guilt
Grief
Depression
Sadness
Anger
Irritability
Numbness
Feeling lost, abandoned, and isolated
Wanting to withdraw or hide

Mental

Slowed thinking
Confusion
Disorientation
Memory problems
Intrusive memories or flashbacks
Nightmares
Inability to concentrate
Difficulty in making decisions

Tips for coping

These are some ideas that may help you cope with the trauma or loss:

Find someone to talk with about how you feel and what you are going through. Keep the phone number of a good friend nearby to call when you feel overwhelmed or feel panicked.
Allow yourself to feel the pain. It will not last forever.
Keep a journal.
Spend time with others, but make time to spend time alone.
Take care of your mind and body. Rest, sleep, and eat regular, healthy meals.
Re-establish a normal routine as soon as possible, but don’t over-do.
Make daily decisions, which will help to bring back a feeling of control over your life.
Exercise, though not excessively and alternate with periods of relaxation.
Undertake daily tasks with care. Accidents are more likely to happen after severe stress.
Recall the things that helped you cope during trying times and loss in the past and think about the
things that give you hope. Turn to them on bad days.

These are things to avoid:

Be careful about using alcohol or drugs to relieve emotional pain. Becoming addicted not only postpones healing, but also creates new problems.
Make daily decisions, but avoid making life changing decisions in the immediate aftermath, since judgment may be temporarily impaired.
Don’t blame yourself—it wasn’t your fault.
Your emotions need to be expressed. Try not to bottle them up.

For some victims and families of victims, life is forever changed. Life may feel empty and hollow. Life doesn’t “mean” what it used to. Part of coping and adjusting is redefining the future. What seemed important before may not be important now. Many victims find new meaning in their lives as a result of their experience. It is important to remember that emotional pain is not endless and that it will eventually ease. It is impossible to undo what has happened but life can be good again in time.

For family and friends of a victim of crime:

Listen carefully.
Spend time with the victim.
Offer your assistance, even if they haven’t asked for help.
Help with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding the children.
Give them private time.
Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally.
Don’t tell them they are “lucky it wasn’t worse”—traumatized people are not consoled by such statements.
Tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred to them and you want to understand and help them.

Victim's of Violent Crimes MUST Support One Another

God works in the most miraculous ways when his children are hurting [for all of us]; and the holidays make this pain fore fold. I was in the mall in Asheville two years ago [April 2011]. I was just wondering around; so bereaved over the loss of our Justin.  I had lost control of my emotions and a young man working a gold kiosk approached me hocking gold. Firstly~ I was in a real daze [this was my first trip out of the house [alone] since Justin's murder on January 11, 2011] and truly I did not wish to speak with anyone. Before I could control myself I jumped this young man; unexpectedly he jumped me back.  After a heated argument ensued I hurriedly walk away because I truly wanted to [rip out his juggler]. 

The more I walked the worse I felt; yelling at people is not my personality. I walked all the back to his kiosk determined to apologize for my inexcusable behavior...we both blurted apologizes at the same time and hugged. 

It turned out Tim Burns [22 years old] was from Boston and his younger brother was murdered [12 years before]. We talked for quite some time about his brother Robbie and my son Justin. He even called his mom, Kristi, in Boston, where he was born. His mother a retired Captain from the military had been the president of a victims advocate chapter for four years. Tim took my number and promised he would have his mom call me. I had no sooner gotten to my car, in the mall parking lot, when my cell phone rang and it was his mother! She talked with me for three hours. Adding, at this time, her youngest son [Robbie] had been gone 12 years and she still was far from over the tragedy that took Robbie away and she cry's a lot [at the time~ Twelve years later she professed to a total stranger]; "I have a few good days but I still experience bad days that lead to bad weeks." and...she is a retired CAPTAIN!

Tim and his mother [Kristi] keep in touch with me [off and on]; although, I had not spoken to [or seen Tim] in 8 months. Out of the blue he called last week and asked if he could take me out for Mother's Day dinner {???!!!???}. I was not sure if I was ready; [now 25 years old; the same age of my Justin] he told me to think about his invitation; it was open whether I was ready or not.

Tim called Mother's Day morning and I said, "Yes that it would be nice to get out." But all day long I had doubts...I talked to a friend who encouraged me to go~it took all the strength I could muster; but I got ready and we met at Hannah Flanagan's~a great Irish Pub setting with wonderful food and atmosphere. Tim reminds me of our Justin [not in looks] but in his demeanor. He is smart, funny, worldly and kind.

In the south one ends up carrying on conversations with everyone [even total strangers] sitting around them [it's a hillbilly thang]. This lovely couple in their forties were so funny and talkative and we enjoyed the conversation. It was time for us to leave and I walked over to this lovely couple to say, "good evening" and the woman immediately says, "GURL you got it going on!" This caught me off guard and I said, "Excuse me?" OMG!! OMG!! She and her husband thought I was a cougar with the catch of the century!!!!! I felt my face blush; I quickly and briefly told them Tim had asked to take me to mother's day dinner because my son is gone and his mother lives in Boston. The lady stood up and hugged me twice and her husband was speechless.

Life's Lesson #104~ never ASSUME! hahahaha I did have a wonderful time and I am so happy God arranged this...somehow I feel Justin may have had a hand in this wonderful evening

I had a wonderful Mother's Day thanks to Tim Burns.

I remain Justin's [got to gut laugh last night] momma

UNC Law Professor Claims, "If we give Victim's rights it will interfer with the Constitutional Rights of the Criminal."

      

May 8, 2013

Re:  Follow-up pursuant to our meeting (04/25/2013) on Capitol Hill after the Congressional Hearing on VICTIM’S RIGHTS.  H. J. RES. 40, the “Victims’ Rights Amendment” 

Professor Mosteller;

     I woke this morning in a mood, could be because my MURDERED son’s 25^th Birthday CAME and WENT as it has for the past three years; WITHOUT JUSTIN’S FEET ON THIS EARTH.  Mother’s Day is passing for the THIRD year, too.  I WANT MY SON BACK!  

     The following is my opinion and being a southerner I would normally excuse the use of my opinion; however, not this time.  Nor do I feel the necessity to offer an apology for the following manifesto, should my words offend, after what my son has been through, with all due respect, “I could care less”. 

     Someone must stand up and say something!  I began typing in capitals after my son was MURDERED and no one in the judicial system cared or listened; they thought I was like most people and I would just crawl away.  I have never crawled away from anything in my life.  Mother’s call me from all over the USA because I stood up and told the judicial system where to put themselves.  Now I do this for the mother’s who cannot fight.  We will win justice for the VICTIMS’.

It is time to call 'a spade a spade'...American Citizens who become victims of violent crimes DO NOT HAVE ANY TANGIBLE RIGHTS!  Born in America and bestowed at birth with 'Inalienable Rights' yet the system touts that only CRIMINALS have rights.  Really?

     ANY interest [on the part of the current judicial system] involving rights of [good, law abiding citizens] has vanished in a quagmire of red tape allowing for a breakdown filled with corruption and [a tilting of the Scales of Justice toward CRIME as a CAREER].  The judicial system makes MONEY FROM EVERY CRIMINALS insidious acts against humanity; the victims/survivors pain and loss are ignored.  “A BUSINESS”.  Some business these folks are running out of OUR Nation’s courts; looking in the mirror each day should be more than just awkward.

     Criminals who have committed heinous acts of violence against good, law abiding citizens should be stripped of any rights.  Military corps strips soldier, of their rank and rights, when they commit a crime against this country or the Geneva Convention.  Violent criminals, with proof and confession, should receive immediate sentencing.  Allowing CRIMINALS rights AND taking away ANY RIGHTS of the Innocent Victims allows CRIMINALS to 'stick it to the public at large'.

     Our forefather’s demanded that of every American Citizen be first and foremost in our country’s Constitution and Declaration of Independence.  These two historical foundational documents were not labored over and carefully written by our forefather’s so that modern day [money mongers] could become wealthy!  Wealthy at the expense of focusing on IGNORING the LIFE of good, law abiding citizens touched by CRIMES OF VIOLENCE; over and over and over again.  Our Forefathers cared about "WE THE PEOPLE"; ergo, the reason THEY chose to begin our Nation's Historical document, “WE THE PEOPLE of the United States….”  I am keenly aware most know these historically touching and infamous words as well as I; but it appears, unlike many, there are many more US citizens who care far more about choosing to [live-up] to these words.

     The Constitution drafted by our forefathers; forefathers possessing far more sense than the DOLTS currently drowning our Nation; our Forefathers' were not blinded by status, money and GREED.  Citizen’s rights and their life dilemmas were not ignored; the government’s interest WAS for Citizens safety, protection and RIGHTS.  

I have had enough of the ludicrous antics of government, the police, lawyers and the judicial system [as a whole]; this [so called] ‘judicial system’ is purposely twisting and misconstruing the meaning and intent of our Nation’s laws for monetary gain.  

     I was forced, by the MURDERER of my wonderful SON, into this Twilight Zone of our Nation’s [so called] ‘judicial system’.  I learned quickly the system is not damaged; it is COMPLETELY BROKEN.  An utter ruse; I learned the stark and lurid truth [as a state asstistant prosecutor] SCREAMED THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN MY FACE, “IT IS A BUSINESS”.  People’s LIVES have nothing to do with justice; justice has NOTHING to do with justice.  That is, Unless you’re the CRIMINAL. 

  

     The heinous and senseless murder of my beautiful son, senior and scholar, at the University of Maryland; Justin DeSha-Overcash was murdered in his College Park rental home at 11:27 AM by a Prince George’s County repeat offender on January 11, 2011.  In the past 2 years, 6 months and 4 days [when I email this 07/15/2013] since my son [and only child] was murdered [in his own home, in broad daylight, doing his laundry]; Justin lost his life [TWENTY TWO YEARS YOUNG] protecting his friends [and ultimately SAVING them] from an armed IDIOT wearing an ankle monitor that the murderer received for a Felony II Handgun Charge TWENTY TWO days before shooting my son to death with callous and evil disregard.  

My beautiful son’s murderer’s education IN CRIME began in Prince George’s County, MD in 2007; this is the actual date recorded by the [police and documented as their first encounter] with this up and coming MURDERER.  This CAREER CRIMINAL committed crimes against society each worse than the last; he graduated on the date he MURDERED MY SON.

     **At the age of TWELEVE MY SON WAS INVITED BY DUKE UNIVERSITY TO TAKE THE SAT.  Let’s see now; a career criminal [MURDERER] of my SON who will be allowed to rape, pillage and plunder via ludicrous and constant appeals, year after year, COSTING TAX PAYERS A TON; THE DEFENSE WILL STAND UP IN A COURT ROOM AND LIE FOR THE CRIMINAL SO THEY [defense] RECEIVE A PAYCHECK.  So in other words the CRIMINAL’S ACTS AFFECT and AFFLICT EVERYONE EXCEPT THE CRIMINAL and THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM.  Common sense is LACKING in this world and has been completely eradicated from the current [so called] judicial system.

 

     Let us do an experiment utilizing the current judicial [slight of hand] method of justice; BUT MY WORD will be the final outcome.  Who should be ignored; The MURDERER or A FUTURE SCIENTIST? 

     The day JUSTIN was MURDERED ~ A Future SCIENTIST with 174 credits [a ‘B’ in Quantum Physics]; double Major Physics & Astronomy, minors in Geophysics/Math, TA Physics Department [first semester sophomore year], TA Astronomy Department [2^nd semester sophomore year], taught a course [senior year], tutored UMd’s athletes’ [4 years ~ they requested him; Justin had the gift of being able to put stat, calc and physics on a level those not gifted with a mathematical mind could understand and remember], beginning Justin’s junior year he is approached to participate in research on “The Earth’s Core Mantel” this honor garnered scientists’ interest in Justin’s theories and research [the only underclassman on the project] during the AGU Fall 2010 Conference in Los Angeles, CA., worked with the UMd Observatory for four years holding a position of tenure, worked every UMd Day~Astonomy tent, a credit score of 742 and even though JUSTIN had never seen a GUN he forfeited his life for two others; by the way Justin could do statistics in his sleep; MY SON KNEW THE PROBABILITY OF HIS NOT LIVING THROUGH THIS MURDEROUS CRIMINALS ATTACK AND YET JUSTIN CHOSE TO BE BRAVE…How would YOU like to know YOU are about to be MURDERED; well Justin, my son, my constant, my love, my heart beat knew and DID NOT FLINCH from this heinous, evil, CAREER CRIMINAL, NOW [first degree] MURDERER! 

     I am an American Citizen, MY SON, with or without a heartbeat, is an American Citizen. I REFUSE to allow this ‘judicial system and government’ to receive paychecks from the senseless, heinous and sadistic murder of MY SON; OR ANY AMERICAN CITIZEN’S LOVED ONE TAKEN BY VIOLENT CRIME.  [ie. TRAVON MARTIN]

     I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN WHO IS NOT GOING TO SIT BACK AND TAKE IT.  EVERY VICTIM HAS RIGHTS and WE’RE TAKING BACK OUR RIGHTS TO RECEIVE JUSTICE and BE PROTECTED FROM EVIL as the laws state.

I remain Justin’s proud, loving, will fight for rights, heartbroken momma.

So You Believe Everything You SEE, READ and HEAR?

One of Justin's many hero's and mentor:

MALCOLM X

"The press is so powerful in its image-making role, it can make the criminal look like he's a the victim and make the victim look like he's the criminal. This is the press, an irresponsible press. It will make the criminal look like he's the victim and make the victim look like he's the criminal. If you aren't careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.
If you aren't careful, because I've seen some of you caught in that bag, you run away hating yourself and loving the man — while your catching hell from the man. You let the man maneuver you into thinking that it's wrong to fight him when he's fighting you. He's fighting you in the morning, fighting you in the noon, fighting you at night and fighting you all in between, and you still think it's wrong to fight him back. Why? The press. The newspapers make you look wrong."
Speech at the Audubon Ballroom in Harlem (13 December 1964), later published in Malcolm X Speaks: Selected Speeches and Statements (1965), edited by George Breitman, p. 93

 

 

 Karen DeSha There are many, not ALL, [just the so called 'journalists'] who blatantly lied in articles and televised 'melodramas' [killing Justin  over & over & over] in their attempt to garner more readers and viewers...Their mantra HELL WITH THE TRUTH! 

 

I remain Justin's [disappointed; when there are people in positions who could MAKE CHANGES come to fruition but they are too self-absorbed] momma

Vison, Imagination or Just a Dream [my murderered son finally came to me in a dream]

My recent dream of Justin [finally he came to visit me!!] seems to be allowing me to make small strides in my attempt to trudge sadly toward returning to the real world; even though Justin's feet are no longer on this planet. I hope this is a good sign that I may sadly find a place for the loss of my wonderful son, Justin; thus, finding a purpose to live. This has not been a path easily traversed; I liken my trip in [surreal land] to a severe emotional overload. Suddenly one is thrown into uncontrollable 'ups & downs' forcing you to succumb to emotions never felt. One becomes hypersensitive developing a true sense of hopelessness which encases you. In my case; I suddenly experience emotional waves that bring on unrelenting and continuous crippling levels of physical, mental and emotional agony; a level I have never known. I would describe what I sense as standing upon a breaking ledge in the ultimate, "shoulda, woulda, coulda" life's moment. I keep remembering what Dr. George Armstrong said to me on January 11, 2011 when I phoned and woke him at 11:10 P. M., "Cry if you're crying, laugh if you're laughing and try to put one foot in front of the other each day." Since loosing Justin the 'try' part was not available in my life's equation; until Justin came to see and speak with me. Thank you Honey...love you always, I remain Justin's confused momma ♥

VICTIM'S/SURVIVOR'S Deserve EQUAL Constitutional Rights and Protection

https://www.ncjrs.gov/ovc_archives/reports/impact/impact.htm

Pursuant to VICTIM'S/SURVIVOR'S [Rights] Citizen's must continue to demand receipt of constitutional rights, equal to the constitutional rights being received by Offenders.

For real JUSTICE to prevail change is ESSENTIAL and INEVITABLE. Continued appeals brought about by the Offender, and his defense, does not allow the Victim's/Survivors ANY opportunity to find even a modicum of CLOSURE in the current judicial system! These continued and constitutionally granted appeals focus on 'unbelievable' rights and actions perpetrated by the Offender and their defense. Excessive appeals and demands placed upon the judicial system by the Offender and their defense forces taxes upon each state [and of course the CITIZENS pay the price]. Why do you think it is referred to as "The Criminal Justice System" when in fact the system should be named; The VICTIM'S Justice System".

It is my opinion; when an offender is incarcerated any [and ALL] monies received be the Offender, for any work position, they are assigned while imprisoned should be transferred into an account restitution to the Victim/Survivor but also should be used toward the Offenders personal upkeep while in prison. Lightening the taxes American Citizens pay to support these Offenders.

Currently in America when an Offender HARMS an American citizen EVERYONE pays and suffers for the Offenders choices and decisions; EXCEPT THEM!

I remain [you ain't gonna believe or understand what is wrong in our judicial system] momma