I'll Be Seeing You; my son, my Justin.

Tomorrow marks 26 months since Justin was tragically and senselessly called 'Home'. I feel like I live in a HUGE void [a vacuum] nothing seems real anymore; how I wish this were true? Honey being without you feels like everything has been literally sucked right out of me. I miss you Babe and nothing will ever fill the empty space you left behind. Honey "I'll Be Seeing You."; love you honey...I am your momma ♥

Daily Life Weighs Heavily Upon My Heart

Sweet Cali you will be missed; thank you for your kind devotion to me.~2012

My beautiful son, Justin, holding Luke while Sandi [Chihuahua] looks annoyed and jealous~ 2005!

This became a traumatic day when I found an article about the UMd tragedy, that occurred last week, and the idiot [reporter] who penned the article 'trashed' Justin. I went 'off the deep end' [to say the least] and began sending emails; finally I was able to speak with a young woman...well I did not really [speak] I was screaming, screeching, crying and cursing like a crazed woman who LOST all control. How can people be so cruel and callous? My SON IS DEAD for God's sake LEAVE HIM ALONE, LET HIM BE. I am sick and tired of fabricated scenarios; why are some people so much more interested in LIES than THE TRUTH! LIFE is not a F**KING SOAP OPERA! My nerves needed all of this like I need a DAMN HOLE IN MY HEAD!

To make matters more complicated I had to finally face the reality, our Chihuahua, Paco Sanchez III [aka Sandi] is more than ready to cross the "Rainbow Bridge"; we always want to hold on [well I do anyway]. I have never understood why our precious pets cannot live longer lives. So I sat down and made the call to arrange [a day] I have dreaded every day for the past 6 months. A very nice lady answered the phone and graciously listened to me explain the reason for my call. She was so patient and understanding and after a short pause she said, "You can come in the morning." My heart began to pound and I blurted, "No! Not tomorrow!" Why? Because I wanted to hold on just a little longer. A decision was made that I would bring my precious Sanman [my nickname for him] at 5 PM on Friday. I hung up the phone, still crying, with what remains of my heart aching; but I cannot allow my dear buddy to suffer any longer. I resigned myself to the reality that at 5 PM this coming Friday Sanman would leave me to be with Justin.

All of this wore me down emotionally and I laid down on the bed around 7:30 PM this evening and had every intention of just laying there for a minute or two; I must have fallen into a deep sleep. I was jolted so abruptly, by the sound of one of my cats literally screaming, I thought it was morning. I jumped out of the bed and ran toward the screaming only to find Cali [my rescue Calico] in the hallway in great distress. As I picked her up she passed away before could even stand up with her in my arms. I sat down on the sofa holding her, rocking back and forth trying to administer CPR. When I realized my actions were moot I began to scream and cry; I am so tired of death. I've been outside for the past hour digging her grave even though I cannot bring myself to put her in there tonight. I know I'm an idiot, I know she's gone; but what if.....everything is prepared and she will be laid to her gentle rest in the morning.

It was when I came back in from digging sweet Cali's grave I knew that I have to take Sanman tomorrow so he can finally be free to move on, too. Sandi is my final connection with Justin so yes it is very hard to let go; but I must for Sanman's sake.

"Life is hard; dying is easy."

I remain Justin's sad and broken momma ♥

Good bye my sweet, sweet Cali, I will miss you greatly.

Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up

A poem written by a bereaved ~Unknown~mother who lost her child too soon!  I would like to share her words with all the mothers who have lost their beautiful children; she knows [all too well] how we feel and what we endure from people who mean well but all they really need to say is, "I'm sorry."  I remain Justin's devoted, loving, sad and confused momma ♥

Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet
I'll never get over it

Please, don't tell me he's in a better place
He's not here with me
 
Please, don't say at least he isn't suffering
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all
 
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child
 
Please, don't ask me if I feel better
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up
 
Please, don't tell me you had him for so many years
What year would you chose for your child to die?
 

• Please, don't tell me God never gives more than we can bear
• Please, just say you are sorry
• Please, just say you remember my child
• Please, just let me talk about my child
• Please mention my child's name
• Please, just let me cry.  

Murderers are becoming younger every day in America.

MURDEROUS Criminals are becoming YOUNGER AND YOUNGER in America....SOMETHING MUST BE DONE TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND GIVE VICTIMS & SURVIVORS RIGHTS....PARENTS~"HOME IS WHERE THE START IS..."

Love your child[ren], be patient, communicate, communicate, communicate, PROTECT YOUR CHILD, respect each other, trust your child[ren] and ALWAYS share laughter and memories!  Break the cycle of incorrect parenting skills.  Angry at your child[ren]~LEAVE THE ROOM AND COUNT TO TEN FOR GOSH SAKES!  Hitting your child[ren] only allows them to grow-up believing this is the only way to solve situations; why not try teaching your child[ren] verbal skills.  The art of defusing a bad situation can be done most proficiently with WORDS. 

I have utilized this method many times [as did my beautiful son] and I will tell you I have never endured bullying [nor did Justin]; even when I have come up against a few violent people I still used verbal defusing.  Not once have I ever been in fear; but you must be looking them directly in the eye when you are speaking and you must maintain this eye contact at all times and the [most important part] SMILE the entire time and never raise your voice or loose your cool!  If you know someone is being bullied TELL SOMEONE....I am Justin's momma ♥.

Cut & Paste the link below in your browser or Double click the link to read this senselessly and tragically sad story of murder at the hands of children on a school playground [a place this child should have enjoyed and been SAFE].




http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/national-international/Bullied-Boy-Dies-in-Hospital-Says-Family-194745221.html?fb_action_ids=10200753546180058&

A momma's ramblings when missing her son becomes overwhelming:

A momma's ramblings when missing her son becomes overwhelming:

I had absolutely no knowledge I could even remotely possess the depth of grief I am experiencing; my child, my son, my friend, my rock, gone?  I truly did not want to care so deeply; now I know why.  

Justin filled a place in my heart like no other can ever replace.  His loss evoked every human emotion I possess; literally pulling my heart in every direction at once.  I find it too surreal to actually comprehend the gravity of the horrific act which took him from all of us who need, care and love this exceptional man.  Justin diligently worked and studied in preparation to take flight on his own life’s journey.

Oh, do not misunderstand this loving and imperfect momma; my wonderful son, Justin, suffered from imperfection, too.  Nowhere on this vast planet we call Earth will anyone find a perfect soul. 

I will miss Justin’s mind and those who knew him, like me, understand why I make this statement.   The purity of the workings of his mind may possibly be one of the most revealing traits he has; to sit and talk with him is the second enjoyment I am going to miss.  The scope of topics on which we spoke is extensive; however, whenever we spoke regarding his topic [math] this usually involved a great amount of humor and patience on Justin's part toward me.  Justin knew math, loved math, this was his way of life; thinking in mathematical terms for Justin was as unconscious a function for him as breathing for us.  I miss you honey, I still cannot fathom you are not going to return to us...I cannot rid myself of the task of waiting; just in case.  I love you Justin...you're sad momma <3 br="">

Baltimore Ugly~WHO MURDERED ANNIE McCANN

In a world of political chaos and officials ignoring American Citizens how far would YOU go to find the murderer of your 'sweet' sixteen year old daughter....AS FAR AS IT TAKES!

Straight 'A' student, Annie McCann, her small frame, lifeless body, found behind a Baltimore City dumpster on November 2, 2008 in the most unlikely place for any parents sixteen year old daughter to be found.  Her car found blocks away with a **KNOWN CARJACKERS FINGERPRINT; if this person is a KNOWN CARJACKER why is he not in JAIL.  This is exactly how screwed up the system is in America.  The Baltimore City Police Department [BCPD] decided that there need not be an investigation; they [BCPD] claim Ms. McCann committed suicide....the Baltimore City Medical Examiner's findings~INCONCLUSIVE.  When did the BCPD become so learned on the CAUSE OF DEATH?  SHOCKINGLY THIS IS THE NORM FOR POLICE DEPARTMENTS IN AMERICAS REFUSAL TO INVESTIGATE MURDERS OF CITIZENS!

**Known carjacker is currently in JAIL for MURDERING HIS LAST CARJACK VITIM~a 26 year old female....How difficult would it be for the carjacker to MURDER A PETITE SIXTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD?

What the police departments across America are perpetrating is a SERIOUS violation of VICTIMS rights; I will continue to share with anyone reading my blogs the stories of women [of murdered children] who have found me since the MURDER of my son [and only child] when the Prince George's County Police tried to pull this on me....I stood up GOT IN THEIR FACES and raised cane until they did their JOB.  I will continue to email Mayor Rawlings-Blake, Governor O'Malley, BCPD Commissioner Batts and anyone else I can think of until ANNIE McCANN'S HEINOUS MURDERER IS BEHIND BARS!

To follow this heart wrenching story of parents seeking justice for their daughter visit:  Facebook Page Justice For Annie

I AM JUSTIN DeSHA-OVERCASH'S MOMMA 

Uninvestigated heinous murder of Annie McCann [16 year old] on November 2, 2008

As the mother of a murdered child in Prince George’s County, MD [Justin DeSha-Overcash January 11, 2011] I can speak intelligently on this horrifying topic; it is for this tragic reason I have become VERY interested in the high incident of unsolved murders in the state of Maryland involving violent crimes against innocent victims.  Since the murder of my son parents of murdered children from your state [and city] have begun contacting me requesting assistance and I feel strongly obligated to become personally involved in supporting them through this unimaginable “parent’s worst nightmare”.

 Since the death of their daughter, Mr. and Mrs. McCann, have continued to raise many realistic concerns.  They have graciously begged the BCPD for assistance and have not received any relevant replies pursuant to their need to know who murdered their 16 year old beloved daughter Annie McCann on November 2, 2008 leaving her dead or dying body in the family Volvo in Perkin's Homes. Mr. and Mrs. McCann’s attitude is surprising to me; they keep telling me that they have faith in the BCPD’s ability to find Annie’s murder [IF] the BCPD will simply investigate. This is a true testament to their Catholic Faith and belief in the system that is to 'Protect and Serve.   

I on the other hand, having been through the same ordeal, place more belief in the fact that the sun will rise and set as will the moon.   

Pursuant to my extensive research into this young ladies demise [common sense] alone dictates too many inconsistencies.  The eight year anniversary of Annie’s death is three months away and Annie's family and friends continue to disagree and raise questions as to the lack of thoroughness of the BCPD’s investigation.  

BCPD does agree with the family [and the State's Attorney's Office and judicial findings] that the McCann family car was stolen and that Annie's dead or dying body was cold heartedly dumped behind a dumpster in Perkins Homes by a [known carjacker] Darnell Kinlaw along with several other young men. This is [ALL] that both parties agree upon.

Did this habitual criminal kill Annie as he killed another woman months later and is now serving time for her coldblooded murder?  How could this habitual criminal knowingly toss a dead or dying young woman’s body behind a dumpster and drive off in her vehicle like she is nothing but trash?  The mere thought of one human being capable of perpetrating this act toward another physically sickens me.  If the harm to Annie was committed by someone else could these young men have possibly helped save Annie's life?   

I am aware that in September 2010 victim advocates with MCVRC were with the McCann’s while the attending Baltimore Medical Examiner acknowledged that Annie had suffered blunt force trauma, and lidocaine intoxication; however, if in fact, Annie McCann died as a result of "lidocaine toxicity" by drinking Bactine why then does the toxicology report show only lidocaine in Annie’s system and no other ingredients that comprise Bactine. (?) Why is it the police do not have a numbered photograph, in Annie McCann's file, of the alleged Bactine bottle and [they] claimed to have found said bottle blocks away from where Annie's lifeless body was discovered?

Shockingly the M.E. cannot even provide evidence to Annie’s bereaved and loving parents whether Annie was raped and the McCanns requested a Rape Kit be done on Annie. As a parent, like the MCann’s, who placed my trust in the Baltimore ME’s office to perform a through autopsy on my beautiful son, when he was senselessly murdered in MARYLAND, I find this fact incredulously unbelievable. Again [common sense] inconsistencies prevail; why can this ME not supply a Rape Kit; for God’s sake Annie was only sixteen years old?  This action alone tells me [not one person] cared to put any time into questioning or investigating Annie McCann’s death; other than her family and friends. 

I have implored people via email and letters in Baltimore City, and Maryland, as [figures of influence] to assist this broken and bereaved family in getting to the bottom of this beautiful child's murder yet no one wishes to help. Annie McCann, this child, [sixteen is a child] purportedly found [by a known carjacker], car doors unlocked, keys in the ignition, she in the back seat of her parents vehicle, with no shoes and spotlessly clean socks, she is wet from head to toe, who had only gotten her driver’s license for a few weeks, found in an area of Baltimore that would be very difficult to find for a sixteen year old unfamiliar resident of Baltimore let alone a 16 year old resident of Alexandria, VA. There are far too many questions, inconsistencies, BCPD lies, lost evidence, lost body parts; good lord this reads like a dime store murder mystery novel; however, this is true and the McCanns must live with this nightmare every day!

If Annie McCann were your [daughter, niece, cousin, sister, granddaughter] could you let go of this unresolved investigation and unsolved murder? Could you just accept the BCPD touting suicide and simply let go of the memory of your loved one in an attempt to move on? 

Annie McCann’s parents and friends seek answers and some modicum of closure so they may attempt to move forward with their shattered lives.  I can say with great conviction; there is no closure for parents of murdered children.  My beautiful son is dead; we know who murdered him, the murderer has been apprehended, sentenced, we know in which prison he resides and still we have no [closure].  

Recently 20/20 did a piece on this horrid and insidious cover-up of injustice pursuant to the murder of Annie McCann; [their] depiction was a travesty tantamount to 'reality television'! 20/20 is a JOKE [they] have lost their edge and do not have the talent nor production ability [they] once had. I now understand why I have not watched this program in over a decade.   

If I were in the McCann’s place I do not know how I could even begin to face tomorrow; in my personal opinion, Baltimore City threw Annie McCann “out with the trash”.  WE will rest until the truth is known.