2010 School Begins Once More~PARTY!

Justin was making plans at the age of 3 so to have his proverbial 'ducks in a row' by the age of 22 was not difficult [for those of us who know him] to fathom. 

I truly love Justin's phone calls; inevitably he will end up admitting something which will bring me to hysterical laughter.  Justin always so low key, you can bet if he called with noticeable excitement in his voice what he has to say will make you laugh!  Some of Justin's plans are a might cheeky!

I received just such a call as fall '10 semester was ready to begin. It seems 8809 is about to throw their usual [back to school] bash but this year they had come up with a party theme to blow all other themes away!

Justin; "momma we're almost ready for our party!"

Me; "well you guys have a great time; how many are you expecting?"

Justin; "aw around 300."

Me; "Now that's what I call a party. Did you invite all the neighbors?"

Justin laughs and says; "momma you're not going to believe the theme we came up with this year; it's "THE NO POOL ~ POOL PARTY!!"

I roared with laughter..this was what I was waiting for and he knew it...

Justin excitedly added; "I was up until 5 AM making lifeguard tee shirts for everyone!"

I retorted, "lord honey you're going to fall asleep before you even get started partying!"

and we both laughed.

Oh to be young again with an abundance of never ending energy that seems limitless!

Justin's persona truly suited college life enjoying every moment in each day; although he chose to 'work as hard as he played'.  He dedicated himself to study his chosen majors with determination.  Justin possessed within him a competitive nature that would never allow him to  falter.  *Yes Justin was one of [those students] he took summer credit classes not because he had too because he wanted too!

 Justin's Lifeguard Shirt ~NO Pool Party~

No wonder they were up until 5 AM making Lifeguard shirts! lolol

This is partly my fault Justin mentioned he wanted to paint shirts 

so I bought and snail mailed him the paint!

  

Justin was well rounded and prepared to begin his life after college. Always the planner he knew what he wanted; a good job in the field of Physics, to continue his studies in Astronomy [due to his devotion to this subject], he wanted to continue making and recording beautiful music, he wanted children (more than one) Justin never liked being an only child, he wanted to build a rock house (like one sees in the south), and he wanted a golden retriever and one cat.  My planner...my son...my gift. 

Justin wanted to continue to make a difference in the area of research in the geological aspects of the Earth and would have never forgotten one friend he made a long his 22 year life's path.  He loves all his cuzes; lord Justin loves all people.

Justin, I do not believe I told you enough how proud I am of you and your prowess in your fields of study; I know I told you all of the time I love you.  Honey I am very proud of your scholastic ability which is well beyond my capability.  Congratulations son for being gifted with such a pure and beautiful mind, heart and soul.

I love you Babe so much son missing you causes pain in my heart...for the remainder of my time on this earth not one day will pass honey that you will not be within my heart and on my mind. My Justin...my constant; Justin you gave my heart more joy than I thought was ever possible.

I remain Justin's momma

Being a momma the BEST part of my life

At the age of four Justin heard the first monster in his room!  Like most children Justin entered a phase which made him fearful of the dark.  He imagined there were monsters in his closet and under his bed.  Could be; one never knows what lurks in the dark!

His anxiety, of course, caused me concern and pushed me to come up with a solution to ease his night-time worries. I thought a lot about how to help Justin and finally came up with a simple plan that I truly hoped would help Justin.

I bought a spray can of cinnamon scented room spray.  I took a piece of plain copy paper, wrote 'MONSTER-RID' at the top and drew a picture of a cartoon monster; I topped it with the O crossed with \ like one sees on no smoking signs.  Then I taped the paper around the can and took it in to show Justin and tell him about this magic spray I had found that protects children from bedtime monsters while they slept.

Every night, for months, I diligently sprayed the 'monster-rid' in Justin's room, his closet and under his bed. Justin never worried again or gave a second thought to those old monsters again and slept soundly through the nights.  Not to mention Justin's bedroom smelled really great all the time, too!   Do something special for your child to show how much you love them and how happy you are they are a part of your life.

Most times love from the heart offers the simplest solution ending with the best results.

I wish there really was a spray to rid us of monsters like the one you encountered honey in your home on January 11, 2011.

I love you my Justin and miss you more with each passing day....I was looking forward to doing all the things we had planned over the years...now I do not want to do anything without you here honey.

I miss you and love you 'bigger than the universe' Babe, I remain Justin's momma

When Your Child IS Involved Listen WITH Your Heart

With no idea why; I relocated from NC to MD on May 9, 2009.  Moving did allow me to spend a lot of time with Justin over the next year, 8 months and 2 days.  Time I would not have had with Justin had I remained in NC.

It only took me a few days after Justin's senseless and heinous murder to understand the purpose behind my move to MD. 

Had I remained in NC I would have only seen Justin on Thanksgiving or Christmas and a couple of days in August before his semesters began. God truly does work in mysterious ways; thank you God for Your knowledge of what the future would bring.  Your kindness toward my heart in allowing me to spend more time with Justin before You called him home will never be forgotten.

I miss you son; imagine how I dealt with you leaving for college and multiply this heartache by infinity plus one.  The clock ticks slowly away at every second of each 24 hours since you had to go away.  

I want 2011 to begin again with you, Justin, unharmed.  Every day I want so badly to wake up and realize this has been a bad dream honey; to turn back the hands of time for real not just in my mind.  Finally the phone rings and you are on the other end.  If only.....if only....

I never thought [for even a nano second] honey you would leave us and now that you have I do not like it...no, I do not like it at all. Our life use to be filled to the brim with wondrous moments while you were here Justin.  Now there is no [wonder], no [happiness], no [understanding], no [need to be].  So many hearts shattered; then there are the ones who do not understand and tell me to 'move on'.  I have literally turned my back to those who tout these absurd words as so few have had a beautiful child to love and cherish; they have absolutely no clue [thank God] of what they speak.  Society is insane to teach us to pretend all is fine and well when in fact it is neither.  I have never adhered to societal pressures and I certainly do not plan on starting now!  You lived, you were murdered and I want you back Justin!

I will grieve for you, my child, in my own manner and way; if others do not like it DO NOT LOOK, DO NOT LISTEN or INVOLVE yourselves! 

Thank you Justin for everything you did for me and others, thank you son for loving me and others, thank you for bringing out my ability to love and cherish you my child. I love you "beyond all reason", I miss your hugs, pranks, laughter, compassion, thoughts, observations of the world and so much more honey. I remain your loving momma throughout eternity and beyond.

I miss and love you honey and always will...until we meet again; keep watch over us...momma

Repost of Justin's Christmas Tribute from Christmas 2012~Background Music Composed by Jca$h

http://youtu.be/zoltOL6lG0Y 

My Beautiful Son~Justin

A letter to Justin February 2011

Dear Justin;

I wanted to tell you honey how proud I am of you and the way you chose to lead your short lived life.  Justin you never did anything which I feel the least bit of shame; what kind of momma would I be if I showed this emotion toward my child.  What I know of you I am grateful and joyful; what I do not I need not know. Know one will ever know everything about everyone they know in their lifetime.

Justin you worked so hard and carried so more on your young shoulders.  Although this never seemed to phase you; challenges are your penchants.  You never let anyone know if you were down or unwell [including me].  I know this for a fact as I too have the same characteristic in my personality. 

Thank you son for all the wonderful moments we shared, your unconditional love, your acceptance of my flaws, the care & respect you gave me, the laughter you shared, the talks about ideals, showing me the stars, making me humble, always knowing when something was wrong with me and bringing me more joy in my life than I have ever known or will ever know again.

I know you float among space and the stars in awe of the answers to questions the rest of us will know in time.  I can not express in words what an honor to be your momma.  I  know I will see you again and oh what joy I will have on this day. 

God rest your youthful soul and please watch over us until we meet again.

My beautiful love, my son. my constant, my friend; you accepted me and everyone exactly the way we are...thank you honey for not judging.

I love you with all my heart honey, momma.

Justin [almost 2 years old] snacking, relaxing and watching TV in Horse Shoe, NC 1990.

The first time Justin experienced being ill...

was unexpected and scared me half silly but ended up giving us the gut laugh of a lifetime!

It was a beautiful sunny [early] spring morning.  We were living in Charlotte, NC; Justin is almost 6 [1994] years old and is attending Reedy Creek Elementary kindergarten.

I am almost ready to leave for work and Justin is ready and standing by the front door.  I always took Justin to school by choice.  I usually got in from work an hour or so before he had to go to bed so we found alternative ways to spend time together.

On this particular morning I turned to Justin's father and said, "I feel like a drunken sailor."; referring to earlier conversation I mentioned I felt dizzy.  Justin responded by saying, "ya know I feel like a drunk sailor, too!"  Oh my, I really needed to remember he repeats everything I say and to THINK before I speak!  Some parents would have made a fuss, some would have corrected their child; I did neither.  Inside I was laughing because, of course, Justin does not know what a [drunken sailor is] nor [what one would feel like as at 5 he [had not] been inebriated!!]  The problem, if it was a 'problem', was with me and certainly not Justin.

I did ask Justin if he were alright and he said fine.

I drove Justin to Reedy Creek and sat there to watch until he walked through the door, I never drove away until Justin walked through the door, even if it meant being late!  I had no more than walked through the door of the my office when the receptionist said, "Karen Justin's school is on the phone."

Justin was dizzy, he was throwing up, had a fever and was in the school nurses office!  Justin had never [NEVER] been sick!  I freaked; I must have made it back to his school, a thirty minute drive, in fifteen minutes [not that I would advise folks drive like this in any situation but I was truly upset!].  My child needed me.

Justin was very pale and clammy; he told me he got too dizzy and this is when he really got sick.  I assisted him out to the car, helped him in and got him situated.  [So when he said he was drunk he truly meant dizzy!  Now I got it!!]  Thank goodness we only lived five minutes from the school.  I completed the school parking lot exit circle, pulled up to the stop sign, turned to look for traffic, looked down at Justin, he turned to look at me and threw-up into my open briefcase; on top of contracts [with earnest money checks attached]!!

We were both freaked now; Justin had never thrown up!  We made it to the house and he began trying to make it into the house on his own so I could deal with the contracts...my trooper!  Poor child was literally crawling my Baby!  Got Justin in and into the bed, ran back down to get everything in my briefcase, dumped it on the driveway; this is when I spread all the contracts over the driveway.  I was attempting to wipe off as much as I could but as I stated earlier it is a beautiful day and I decided to leave everything laying on the driveway to dry in the sun!  In the interim I am beginning to get more ill by the minute. 

Justin's fever was through the 'roof' he could not even keep down water; finally a call to the doctor had me wrapping Justin up and off we went.  They saw him quickly and determined we both had a fairly serious sinus infection but we had caught it in the beginning stages.  The doctor gave us a script and handed me a small cup of liquid med for Justin to drink when we returned to the car for his first dose.  Justin drank it down and back it came this time I was prepared; I brought a trash can for the trip to and from the doctor.  

We got the script filled but by 3 P.M. I knew we had a problem Justin was unable to keep anything down; including water!  I called the doctors office and he told me regrettably the only alternative would be a suppository.  I was not feeling good about having to put Justin through this experience; he truly had never been this ill and the 'suppository thing'.  Let's just simplify it; we could have gone Justin's entire childhood without the knowledge of suppositories and it would have suited Justin and me!!

The Suppository 

I walked into Justin's bedroom with the suppository in my hand and he began to whimper making me feel even worse for him.  I have often wondered why is it when one is sick they must feel worse before they can experience feeling better again?  I sat down on the side of the bed to comfort him and to assure him all was going to be well and to remind him he did not know what a suppository is; this last jewel did make him smile a for a brief moment.  Then he looked at me seriously again and I asked, "Would you prefer your father help you with this?"  Justin shook his head no and that was that.  I kissed him on the head and told him how brave he is and that this will make him better because not being able to even hold down water is not good when you are not feeling very well.  I remember saying he should try to rest and I left his room to do a few things.

I came back to his room not long after and I was a little confused to find Justin laying in his bed as straight and stiff as an old toy tin soldier staring at the ceiling.  I asked, "Honey are you okay?"  Justin replied [barely moving his head only averting his eyes in my direction], "Yes mommie."  Still not satisfied I added "Um? Honey, if you're okay; why are you laying like that?"  Justin answered, "Oh I'm layin' this way cause I'm scared if I move my butt pill might fall out."  I could [COULD] not contain myself I was laughing so hard I was on my knees [involuntarily]; children are wonderful [marvelously wonderful] just let them be children.

I sat in the floor beside Justin's bed the entire night watching him sleep; not because I am special or anything else.  I did this because I am Justin's momma and I love him more than life itself.  I wanted to be there should Justin wake needing me or anything; I liked being this kind of momma.  He was so much better by the next morning and was able to take his oral meds! YAY!!  Justin was only sick two more times before entering college; we were blessed that he was very healthy!  Our gift...our gift from God.

My son, Justin, brought me joy, happiness, unconditional love, compassion for mankind, the desire to place others before myself, forgiveness, understanding, faith, kindness, laughter and HOPE!

I miss you honey...In my prayers I use to tell God, "I don't know what I would do without Justin..." now I don't know what to do without you Babe...Please watch over me you know how much I need looking after, love you honey, your momma

P.S.

Another mystery in life I cannot understand; why people will not allow children to be children?  Children get to be children for 18 years then they must be adults for decades longer; why not give them the mere 18 to enjoy and be children then they will know how to treat their children and so on and so on and so on....the theory I used in raising Justin!  Justin happy, intelligent, healthy, social, flexible, embraced challenge and enjoyed every moment of his twenty two years on this Earth.  He laughed a whole bunch!

 

Justin Told the Truth

Cumberland Hall UMD College Park, MD Freshman Year [Fall 2006]~DORM LIFE

My home telephone rings:

me, "hello?"

A very excited and out of breath Justin, "HEY momma!  What are you doing?"

me, "Not much honey just hanging out; what are you doing?"

In a true Justin tone of glee he responds, "OH MOMMA!  YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT WE'RE DOIN'!!"

In my mind I am thinking OH MY GOODNESS???  Suddenly my imagination kicks into overdrive and I envision [at the speed of a second hands tick] everything I could be doing that would cause me to reach this level of excitement.  Trust me when I add; the odds are coming out to equal=NOT GOOD?

In an energetic voice and completely winded Justin barely gasps, "MOMMA, we put baby powder all over the hallway floor and then we hold our mattress start running and jump on them and slide down the hall!  My room mate Mayokun just busted his head on the concrete wall!!!

me; with my jaw agape I finally manage to say, "Oh MY GOSH Honey....is he okay?"

Justin laughing hysterically calmly states, "On yeah momma he'll be fine he just has a big knot."

To which I responded [with mild hysteria] while attempting to envision Justin's version of a knot and my version of a knot in my mind, "Honey, is this what we sent you to college for...."

Sheepishly Justin replied, "Aw momma.....he's okay.   We're just having some fun."

Left to Right:  My dear Justin, My wonderful Mayokun and My sweet Patrick.  Yes and they are covered in powder!

me, "Um....I know honey but there may be moments in college that you would rather not share with your momma!?!"

Second of silence....
 
Then we both BUSTED OUT laughing...oh the innocence of youth.

He and Mayokun developed a wonderful lasting relationship during their freshman year; true brothers for life!

Remind me one day and I will share Mayokun telling at Justin's memorial, on January 20, 2011 at the beautiful Chapel on the campus of UMd where he had everyone laughing with his college stories, how he tried to get Justin to toss aside his studies and just have college FUN!  [His attempts, although numerous and creative, never worked!] 

I miss you Babe...A LOT, so much it is painful.  I miss your calls, I won't get started cause you know I miss everything about you son, but your calls were always special.  A way for you to tell me you thought of me, wanted to share a moment of your life with me and say love you.  I truly appreciated this part of our relationship more than I will ever be able to express to you honey, or anyone for that matter, in words.  I can't stop thinking of you and all the 'what ifs'....I love you honey and I know you're fine; I just wish you had never had to leave us and especially in such a horrible manner...  Nothing is fun or funny anymore honey...Thank you Babe for 22 years of smiles, laughs, gut laughs and please please I have to stop laughing my face hurts!!  I love you Justin, my son, my constant...momma    

Justin's momma~Links to Articles attached~Justin's Murder & Case

Attached are a few of the many links pursuant to articles/media circulated during the time of Justin's unconscionable attack.  The heinous, cowardly and senseless murder of my son, and only child, Justin DeSha-Overcash on January 11, 2011.   Occurred on January 11, 2011, in a rental home he shared with 4 to 5 other students of UMd; you did not meet any potential renters as each bedroom was rented individually.

Between 11:12AM and 11:27AM my son was sadly forced into a situation in an attempt to protect two of his UMd College Park, MD Alums.   A masked, armed, this home invader was verbally harassing Justin; with the barrel of his wicked gun resting on by beautiful sons abdomen.  One of Justin's roommates had been asleep, heard the commotion and hid under his bed to call 9-1-1; I commend this young man.  He did exactly what he should have done; he had already heard one shot fired.  Later we would learn the coward shot between Justin's legs in an attempt to scare him and Justin still would not back down!  I know all of this information because a friend of Justin's walked into this living nightmare.  This cruel callous calculating armed career criminal then turned the gun toward this young man and as he recounted the horrifying facts of my son's last moments to me he said, "momma I could see past this guys shoulder, I could see what my brother Justin was going to do; he was going to save the life of his younger brother,  he was going to save my life.  Justin hit him and momma the guy just turned around, looked at him, laid his gun on Justin's stomach and shot him twice.  I tried to hit him momma; I tried!"

The day this cretinous spawn murdered Justin [and destroyed many lives] he wore an ankle monitor for a DC Felony II Handgun Charge received [twenty two DAYS] before he cold bloodily murdered Justin, using a GUN.  The cowardly murderer was also on a parole violence in the county where he ultimately [with no mercy] murdered Justin on a 2009violation.  Not ONCE but TWICE this coward should have been behind bars and my son would be here for the holidays NOT missing the third year in a roll laying 6" underground.

I know my son as well as he knows me; Justin never thought that this person [or any person] would shoot unarmed, innocent people he did not know and had not quarrel with.  Justin miscalculated the cruelty, lack of love for human life or respect for oneself let alone anyone or living thing for that matter.

I am Justin's [forlorn] momma
 

http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2011-12-27/local/35287507_1_drug-dealer-homicide-victims-police-headquarters

http://www.tbd.com/articles/2011/01/slain-u-md-student-justin-desha-overcash-mother-says-police-using-drugs-as-scapegoat-44724.html

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Two-Men-Arrested-In-Murder-of-Md-College-Student-118995949.html

https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-desha/facebook-hosts-electronic-eulogies-from-the-friends-and-acquaintances-of-justin-/10150334594983724

http://archive.org/details/tv?time=201102&q=karen%20desha

http://www.maceandcrown.com/2012/02/04/remembering-chris-cummings/

http://www.diamondbackonline.com/news/campus/article_fb8cf901-ddb7-57ef-ab5c-e8f5fce90099.html

http://www.diamondbackonline.com/news/article_0cb7c9b4-c294-5c22-807d-84408d055f77.html

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2013-02-15/news/bal-college-park-shooting-wont-be-reflected-in-university-crime-tally-20130215_1_campus-security-policy-clery-act-jeanne-clery-disclosure