"A new broom sweeps clean.
Where there's a will
there's a way."
WoW! I did not realize you lived in Philly! I lived in Chalfont from 2002 through 2006...Justin graduated from Central Bucks South high school...the first year we lived there it snowed 27" in 7 hours if I could have gotten to a truck rental business I would have MOVED!! hahaha lord it got cold there...my poor Chihuahua was so cold sometimes! haha but if I had tried to put one of those coats on him he'd have eaten me!! lolololol
Thank you for thinking of me on my birthday...I have cried most of the day away...Justin was so much of my life...I truly wanted grandchildren and Justin would have been an amazingly great father and loving husband. In middle school he had already picked names for his children!! My 'planner'!
I was looking for a specific birthday card today that he had given me when I opened an envelop with another birthday card and a book marker fell out...for some unknown reason I turned it over and on the back Justin had written "A new broom sweeps clean. Where there's a will there's a way." The writing looked to be when he was in middle school...I burst into tears...wishing he were here so I could call him and ask the circumstances of the quote...why he had written it the way he did...you know Maria momma heart queries... "where there's a will" was written in a semi circle [?]
I believe [in my heart] Justin wished for me to find this today...I was actually out among people this past holiday...for the first three years I slept from October through February. Truly, I seemed to be like a bear hibernating. Even the little greeting lady at Walmart was proud of me this year for being out and about...
Through this year if I were sitting at a traffic light I would motion the driver beside me to roll down their window...then I'd shout Merry Christmas and they would burst into laughter and shout Merry Christmas back! I must have told 500 people Merry Christmas...I guess I was making up for hibernating the past three years!
I believe I got so wrapped up in being 'Justin's momma' I forgot who [Karen] is...now I must go and find out who she is and what she can do without Justin by her side. "A new broom sweeps clean. Where there's a will there's a way."
Damn Maria I cannot tell you how many times I have been knocked down in life; I have just never been down this long I always got right back up!!!! I have been in counseling since 3/2011...that's a long time...I should be cured of anything and everything by now!
Before [before everything was different] when I was knocked down it never involved anything I cherished, wanted, needed, cared for, loved, and was so closely tied to..... this truly sucks!
Sorry it's been a bad day...another birthday without Justin...this makes five...but now that I have received direction things may just begin to look up...I know that I need to find me...Justin's momma died. She died with Justin at 12:30 P.M. on January 11, 2011.
I hope this message isn't to, you know, weird? Your message just happened along when I realized what the problem/solution is....
Try to stay warm up there in Philly...I did like it there...although the people are always in such a hurry! Justin once asked me, "momma why are they always in such a hurry?" My reply, "I don't know honey I've never been in one!" hahaha I truly loved being a momma...now I have to be a 'Karen'...oh lord that's a little scary!!
Take it easy Chick! I'll try not to get too much weird~er
Hum? Karen? WoW!
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