Justin Hangs Out Among The Stars in The Heavens

A HUGE and grateful thanks for the gift of loving and sincere generosity from the McCann Family; Mary Jane, Dan, Sam & their beloved Annie, Justin DeSha-Overcash has a Star in the Taurus Constellation [honorarily] named after him. 

This is only a [symbolic] gesture and I admit I have been reminded, "Justin is in all of the stars." Even though the original name of this star will not change, in my heart, I will always feel this particular star will forever belong to and be a symbol of all Justin's happiness and love of life meant during his time on Earth to this universe. 

Co-ordinates~TAURUS RA5h32m28.61s D24 [degrees] 4'7.48"  [Justin is a Taurian]

I love you McCann Family and I am forever grateful for this blessing of friendship!

Justin you will never be forgotten. You shine as brightly now as you always did! 

 I love you BIGGER than the universe, momma

 

 

Meet One of My Many Son's From Another Mother

Will, one of my son, Justin's, best friends from PA, came through Asheville on his way to FL to visit his grandparents.  We spent Saturday in downtown Asheville.  Everyone knows 'If your not weird then you're not weird enough for Asheville' or so the bumper sticker says!

There were the usual street musicians and artists.  Will was amazed; he asked if they paid to be there.  I told him no they just set up where ever they felt the urge and 'did their thing'.  He was especially interested in a young man playing a dulcimer as he had never seen this instrument.  As I do with all visitors who come to Asheville I made him take a photo by the Iron monument. 

We enjoyed a leisurely late lunch in one of Asheville's many great eateries and then Will treated me to a tour of the art museum and we were lucky enough to get a free treat to roam through the rock museum because it was after 4 PM!   

At sunset we went to Justin's grave site and hung out with Justin as we took in the beauty of the Smokey Moutains.  We shared stories about Justin and we laughed and we cried.  Before we left Will knelt at his brothers grave and said a silent prayer for my beautiful son.

Will's time in Asheville was a most wonderful surprise and memory!! 

I love you Will, my son from another mother, thank you for lunch and for treating me to the museum tour!! I know I talked too much but you were most kind and patient! 

I am OC'S momma [Justin's nickname in PA is OC for Overcash]

Will left me a surprise message!

I Want My Son's Life Back

Today is the 11th of November marking two years and ten months since Justin was murdered. I refuse to say lost or taken, during a conversation with another mother she made sense when she adamantly stated, "I did not loose my daughter; she was murdered!" I never lost Justin at any point of his twenty two short years; never!

I didn't even like making Justin sit in the car alone all hot, dirty and tired after a sports practice while I shopped when he needed to get home shower and finish up any homework assignments he might need to complete. One particular evening football practice ended a good bit earlier than usual and yes I had run to the grocery store. CJ Charles Green and Carmen Le'Hazel Green's mother [Lora Green] said, "Justin we'll just run you home." Lora still enjoys telling this story, because Justin was so animated, he looked up at her [he was 11 years old] and said. "Oh no Mrs Green. If my mommie comes and I'm not here she'll freak out." Justin was right I would have FREAKED OUT; ergo, why it is difficult for so many to understand the depth of my bereavement and grieve. I guess I have [freaked out] Justin's not here and I cannot find him.

I know no one but me understands my despair and this is alright. I have never expected anyone to understand my beliefs, my heart, my mind, my love or my joy for my child, Justin. These innate qualities are mine and mine alone; I was born with them and yet there are people who think I can simply push 58 years aside. I honestly do not care who understands, in the scheme of things it truly does not matter, Justin is my son and this is my life and my road which I have no fear to walk alone.

I go to bed each night and my last thought is, "Justin is dead." When I wake my first thought is, "Justin is dead." I died on January 11, 2011 with Justin. I move, I breath, my heart beats, my mind is muddles, confused, thought is difficult, attention span none, I pray a lot, I cry a lot, I daydream about all the memories and I do thank God he gave me the ability to remember with vivid detail each [and every] moment with Justin so I can relive the laughter, the hugs, the pranks, the 'ventures', the excitement and enthusiasm, the unconditional love, his understanding and acceptance of my uniquely bohemian personality.

God gifted me [and I did not deserve such a beautiful gift] but God chose me to be Justin's momma and I will be forever grateful. Justin taught me so much and I will never forget even one of these life lessons. Honey I miss you so much the pain is unbearable and life seems so bleak. Please watch over us because you know how much we need you. Honey I will love you until the end of time and far beyond; see you in the light Babe, momma