“Closure Never Comes~Neither does adequate information”

July 18, 2012

 “Closure Never Comes~Neither does adequate information”

By:  Justin Desha-Overcash’s momma

I can state with great conviction the loss of my son, Justin, has restructured my life, my personality, my concerns, my determination and my life’s goals.  Without Justin in my life I sense I will continue to morph as time moves forward.  In Prince George’s County I have been referred to as ‘outspoken’ and ‘delusional’ by county authorities and media.  I am neither outspoken nor delusional; I am honest, analytical, and observant; excelling at reading body language.  I had a lot of fun working for over thirty years in outside [high end] sales.  If one takes advantage of the valuable knowledge one gathers from having the opportunity to engage verbally with so many different personalities on a daily basis, in my opinion, this is absolutely the best possible teacher….I enjoy and prefer pursuing a livelihood which requires the challenge of ‘learning on the job’.  I had no idea my preparation; my background and knowledge would literally be my saving grace and allow me to summon the strength to aid my wonderful son [my constant] after he was senselessly and tragically murdered on January 11, 2011. 

What I am being forced to learn as the momma of a murdered child:

 [after]~The only people one can relate to is found with other parents of murdered children; few know how to find or contact these valuable and necessary support systems and resources.  Very few survivors of victims, or victims who survived, know of the laws pursuant to murder or vicious violence. 

a).  While attempting to live and grieve through the most horribly debilitating situation  imaginable; no one thinks to find out [their] legal rights as it pertains to them [victim] or the loved ones [survivors].  Until it is too late!

b).  The [average] victim/survivor has no knowledge of the judicial system, Estate affairs, tax preparation for their loved one, the many calls and explanations to creditors.

c).  Filing before deadline dates pursuant to their [victim/survivor] future ability to attain some kind of legal restitution.  (The authorities’ are not forth coming with this information let alone sharing there are deadlines wh9ich must be adhered, too.)  None of the guidelines in use are friendly to the Victim’s or Survivors who must wait years or even decades to find justice for their loved one.

d.)  Too many who are grieving deeply do not seek counseling because they are unaware there are venues they may seek for their mental welbeing; some are free or on a sliding pay scale.  So many bereaved parents simply do not understand “they are not crazy, they are not insane; they are grieving for the death of their child.”

e).  There are online judicial search sites [the media know of them, as do the authorities] the average parent does not!  I knew nothing of these sites; a grieving mother from PG County, via the telephone, walked me through finding out the MURDERER, of my beautiful Justin, has a lengthy criminal record.  I was mortified to also found out my son’s murderer, prior to shooting my beautiful son, appeared in a DC court room TWENTY FOUR days earlier (December 18, 2010) [on Felony II Handgun Charges] and was wearing an ankle monitor when he MURDERED MY SON on JANUARY 11, 2011!  The introduction of the facts of the murderers DC Charge assisted in this callous, calculating and evil MURDERER receiving HIS JUST DESSERTS!             

**This is but a sampling of information no one knows about [or how to research & access] when parents are confronted with their worst nightmare; a horrible tragedy that is becoming all too common ~MURDERED CHILDREN.

I know, without a doubt, there is a large venue of viewers for a program of this nature [or radio talk show].  I can also state with great conviction is the residents of the county where my son was murdered are listening; they want the crime to stop.  I have begun to receive telephone calls, emails, Facebook friend requests, and opportunities to speak publicly with regard to the heinous murders of our children.  Someone has to stand up; when I am asked, “Why do you do this?”  I simply respond, “Why not?”  When asked, “When will you be finished?”  I just say, “When I am done.” 

[November 2010]  During a conversation with my son, Justin, he gave me the most wonderful compliment I believe a mother could ever receive from her son, he simply said, “Momma I keep you around because you get things done.”    In my son’s name [and honor] I plan to continue “to get things done”; my list will include every victim of senseless acts of violence everywhere.

I wrote Justin his first note when he was only 7 days old; throughout Justin’s short life I kept writing notes, then letters, then journals.  I wanted to leave them for him to read one day; now I post these keepsakes and memories on my facebook page to share stories about Justin and our wonderful life together.  Everyone keeps telling me I should write a book [which I have begun]; however, more must be done to help the victims and the survivors NOW!  LATER IS TOO LATE!