I had absolutely no knowledge I could even remotely possess the depth of grief I am experiencing; my child, my son, my friend, my rock, gone? I truly did not want to care so deeply; now I know why.
Justin filled a place in my heart like no other can ever replace. His loss evoked every human emotion I possess; literally pulling my heart in every direction at once. I find it too surreal to actually comprehend the gravity of the horrific act which took him from all of us who need, care and love this exceptional man. Justin diligently worked and studied in preparation to take flight on his own life’s journey.
Oh, do not misunderstand this loving and imperfect momma; my wonderful son, Justin, suffered from imperfection, too. Nowhere on this vast planet we call Earth will anyone find a perfect soul.
I will miss Justin’s mind and those who knew him, like me, understand why I make this statement. The purity of the workings of his mind may possibly be one of the most revealing traits he has; to sit and talk with him is the second enjoyment I am going to miss. The scope of topics on which we spoke is extensive; however, whenever we spoke regarding his topic [math] this usually involved a great amount of humor and patience on Justin's part toward me. Justin knew math, loved math, this was his way of life; thinking in mathematical terms for Justin was as unconscious a function for him as breathing for us. I miss you honey, I still cannot fathom you are not going to return to us...I cannot rid myself of the task of waiting; just in case. I love you Justin...you're sad momma <3 br="">
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